One day you have to stop running from the world
by shadowsontherun
Summary: It's 6 months after the Loki incident and Natasha is on a personal mission – a mission to conquer her very rational but annoying and downright embarrassing fear of the Hulk. "Something's bothering you.You were pacing in front of my lab. You're heart rate
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 – Taking a chance

It's been 6 months since the Loki incident. 6 months since they've all moved into the new Avengers Tower and become more like a dysfunctional family then a team of crime fighting superheroes. Natasha and Clint were still full time agents working for SHIELD – but now they seemed to split their time between SHIELD mission and Avenger missions.

Today was one of those rare days in-between and Natasha was on a personal mission – a mission to conquer her very rational but annoying and downright _embarrassing_ fear of the Hulk. She was a _goddamn_ spy – she wasn't supposed to be afraid of men 6 times her size.

Bruce Banner on the other hand was a completely different story. Aside from the fact that the man had a guilt complex the size of Mount Everest – he was an incredibly sweet guy. He actually understood when people wanted to be left the _hell_ alone – unlike somebody we know who can't take a hint- and he makes the best coffee in the world to boot. When Bruce is on a mission consulting on something Natasha does not have the patience to understand – the rest of them who are left behind die a little on the inside.

She finally arrived at the lab that Bruce likes to haunt day and night when he's not being dragged to group bonding sessions and mission-related work. She thinks it is very likely that the man falls asleep on his desk more nights in a week then in his own bed. He was a workaholic through and through.

She stared at his door trying to figure out how to approach this situation – she just realized how highly, _highly_ offensive her mission may seem to the humble scientist. With nothing else to do she started to pace.

"Why are you pacing in front of my door?" A voice asked from behind her. She spun around and came face to face with the man she was originally hell bent on seeking out.

"Um…I…" Suddenly she wasn't so sure anymore. "I have to go." She said as she quickly turned around and started walking down the hall past him.

"You can come in if you like…" He said kindly gesturing towards his door. She paused to glance at him and then at his door. She was not a coward…but then again…

"Okay." She found herself agreeing and walking into his lab behind him. He sat down on one of the many work benches laid out around the room with huge piles of notes scattered across the table. She hesitantly took a seat across from him.

"Something's bother you." He said taking a sip of his world renowned coffee.

"Maybe." She said noncommittally.

"You were pacing in front of my lab. You're heart rate spiked when you saw me and it hasn't gone down yet. So I'm inclined to believe it has something to do with me." He deduced skillfully. She stared at him warily.

"How did you know that?" She asked suspiciously. He shrugged.

"Side effect from the accident. But I'm right – so tell me." He asked curiously. She shifted in her seat awkwardly.

"Well it's sort of an odd question…"She started uncertainly.

"I know weird, trust me. I can smell emotions – it's creepy and invasive." He said with an involuntary shudder.

"Oh." She said blankly. "So you know." All the emotion drained from her body as black widow mode kicked in. He felt the change and sighed.

"It's okay to be afraid Natasha. It's not something you should be ashamed about." He said reassuringly. She tensed.

"You know that part too." She sighed and leaned her forehead against her hands. She could practically _feel_ him trying not to grin behind his coffee cup.

"I know you're smiling." She mumbled. He chuckled.

"How do you know that?" He asked curiously.

"It's in your voice." She said simply. He looked impressed.

"Well it's only because you have a very odd way of being afraid." He said while placing his cup down onto the table. She looked up at him curiously.

"What do you mean?" She asked. He shrugged.

"Well most people react impulsively when their frightened. They tend to run away from the things that scare them or try to ignore it. You on the other hand either shut down emotionally like right now or you face your fear head on and either hope to overcome it or die trying." He said inquisitively. She raised an eyebrow.

"When did you become such an expert in psychology? Let alone an expert in _my_ emotional responses?" She asked warily. He grinned sheepishly.

"I had a lot of time to myself during the years I was on the run. I learned quite a few things about people and I simply learned about you by constant exposure." He replied truthfully. "But you don't want a lesson about the science of emotions. You came here for a reason." He said pointedly. Ah…ever the doctor, always searching for the root of the problem.

"I wanted…to talk to you…" She started. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"You _are_ talking to me." He pointed out. She shook her head slowly.

"No…I wanted to talk to…_the other guy_…" She said cautiously. He made an _'oh'_ face and simply stopped moving. She swears he wasn't breathing either.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." He said finally.

"Why not? He understands us during missions. He even saved one of us a couple of times." She said pointedly.

"Understanding and talking are two very different things. Hulk doesn't talk – he smashes." He said blankly. She shook her head.

"No I don't think you are giving him enough credit. He can think – I've seen it. Granted he is like a child, but I think it would be good for him to come out when there is nothing to smash – and see what he would do." She said cautiously. He listened to her response with wary eyes.

"Pretty weird to be defending the monster you're deadly afraid of isn't it?" He asked bluntly.

"He's not a monster." She rebuked firmly. He stared at her with doubtful eyes. "He's not. Anyone who is provoked as much as he is would response violently. He's a part of you. And any part of _you_ must be good underneath all the green muscle. He's just…just misunderstood." She said hesitantly.

"Is that why you want to see him? To prove to yourself that he's not a monster? That he's not dangerous?" He asked calmly. She shook her head.

"I _know_ he's not a monster. I just wanted to try and show you that as well." She said quietly.

"You expect me to believe you want to see if Hulk can be civil for _my_ sake?" He asked in disbelief. She shook her head once again.

"No. I'm not going to stop being afraid just because I talked to Hulk for five minutes without him smashing me. I'll finally stop being afraid when _you_ believe he is not going to smash me anymore." She said evenly. He stared at her before looking away.

"I can't do that Natasha. He killed people. _I_ killed people." He said with a faraway look. She banged her hand on the table angrily.

"And you don't think I have either?" She asked furiously. They both heard his heart monitor beep but ignored it.

"You were manipulated into doing that Natasha – it's not the same! I killed innocent people!" He said heatedly.

"You have _no_ idea how many innocent people are on my ledger." She said darkly. "I killed children Bruce – innocent children who had no reason to die expect that they were the children of the wrong parents." He shook his head.

"You were a child yourself." He said defensively.

"And you were the unfortunate victim of an unforeseeable accident Bruce. You have to learn to forgive yourself." She said firmly. He leaned forward and stared at her straight in the eye.

"Have you?" He shot back. Her eyes glazed over but there were no tears – she hasn't cried in years.

"I have no accident to hide behind Bruce. I was a bad person – I killed people fully within control of my facilities." She said as she closed her eyes. He watched her build up the wall that had just crumbled down around her. He sighed.

"I'll make you a deal. The day you finally forgive yourself will be the day I forgive myself as well. Then you can talk to the Hulk." He said carefully. She opened her eyes and stared at him in shock.

"Do you really mean that?" She asked. He nodded. She watched him carefully for a few minutes before holding out her hand for him to shake.

"I accept. Deal?" She asked. He glanced at it warily and sighed before grabbing her hand and giving it a good shake.

"Deal."

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"I'm on a mission Captain." Natasha says as she walks into his room. Steve has become used to her many unannounced visits and so was not surprised when she stormed in and stood beside him defiantly.

"Oh where are you going?" He asked curiously from his seat at his desk. He was sitting in front of his new computer - still trying to wrap his head around the oddities of the 21st century. People say some _interesting_ things on the internet. She shook her head.

"No - this is a personal mission. I want to find a way to get Bruce to forgive himself for the deaths he accidentally caused back when he couldn't control the hulk." She said as she glanced around at the notes on his desk – he was read about the cold war – joy.

"Well…have you even forgiven _yourself_ yet Natasha?" He asked curiously. She clenched her fists angrily.

"Why do people keep asking me that?" She said irritably.

"Because it's a valid question?" He asked tentatively. She stared at a spot on his wall and refused to look at him. "Natasha, look at it from this point of view. He has been carrying his guilt for as long as you have - and a decade is a long time for feelings to settle in and become familiar. You can't just make them go away with a single conversation or by sheer will. How on earth are you supposed to help a person with their ghosts, when you haven't come to terms with your own yet?" He said wisely. She paused to take in what he said before she sighed and let all the anger flow out of her system.

"How did you do it Captain?" She asked suddenly. He looked at her perplexed.

"Do what?"

"How did you come to terms with the fact that all the people you once knew...are gone?" She winced at her tactless ending but pressed onward nonetheless. He didn't physically react, but she could see the pain in his eyes.

"You know, I'm not the best person to ask about getting over guilt and finding closure right?" He said warily.

"I would die before I asked anyone else on the team for advice." She deadpanned.

"I wasn't talking about the team." He said hesitantly.

"I will kill _you_ if you say the word psychologist." She added. He gulped.

"O...kay? Well I guess the only really helpful thing I could tell you…is to find closure with all those people. Apologize for all the things you did wrong and all the things you didn't do right. You can't ask for forgiveness - but you can finally close that chapter in your life and move on." He said with a faraway look. She felt for him - all the pain and sadness he carried around with him on a daily basis. How he had no one to turn to because he was the first and likely only person to ever be in his exact situation. He truly was a very strong man.

"Did you visit all their graves?" She asked quietly. He paused for a second before nodded.

"All of them...except for one. I haven't built up enough courage to visit him yet." He said with a sigh. She didn't know how to respond to something so personal and hesitated.

"If you ever need…I…just let me know." She said awkwardly. He gave her a reassuringly smile that said he understood what she was trying to say but just couldn't find the right words.

"Maybe that's what you should do." He said quietly. She gave him a puzzled look. "With Bruce." He clarified. "You should go conquer your ghosts - together."

"But wouldn't that be intruding on his personal life? Wouldn't he feel uncomfortable with an outsider watching him come to terms with his past?" She asked uncomfortably. Steve shrugged.

"You'll never know until you ask him." He pointed out.

"I don't know if I should." She said warily.

"Would _you_ be uncomfortable with him there?" He asked.

"I don't know that either." She said with a sigh. He got off his chair and came to sit beside her.

"Maybe it's time you gave it a shot. It gets lonely after a while of never letting anyone in. Don't you think?" He asked kindly. She mulled that thought over in her head for a moment.

"If this all blows up in my face I'm going to blame you – you know that right?" She said determinedly. He coughed into his hand before standing up.

"I don't know how much I like that idea – but I'm willing to take the risk."

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Hey guys! This is a new story idea I had rolling around in my head doing summersaults and all that jazz. I like the idea of Natasha and Bruce taking a journey together, bonded by their mutual pain and dark pasts. Do you think I should continue?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – Are we friends?**

It's late at night and Bruce is diligently working in his lab. He's going over the notes for one of Tony's brand new arc reactors and it is taking forever because Tony has his own kind of science language that Bruce barely understands on the best of days. He's a genius nuclear physicist and a doctor – not a genius technological engineer. When he reaches over to get a pencil he is startled to find a person quietly sitting beside him on top of his desk.

"You're really focused when you do your work." She said quietly.

"Really?"

"Yeah, sometimes you don't even realize I've been sitting here for five or even ten minutes. But when you're not preoccupied with a paper or project you can tell when someone walks into the room instantly." She replied.

"Been doing some studying yourself I see." He said leaning back against his chair.

"Just constant exposure." She said simply. He sighed remembering the conversation from the other day.

"I'm sorry about the other day. That was uncalled for." He said apologetically. She shook her head.

"Don't worry about it. I said some really insensitive things as well - so we're even." She said waving away his apology with her hand.

"So what can I do for you today Miss Natasha?" He asked curiously. The initial uneasiness she felt when she was speaking with the Captain was back.

"I was wondering if you weren't too busy later, if you wanted to go somewhere...with me." She said slowly. He raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"This is not another team bonding session in disguise is it?" He asked warily. She snorted and shook her head.

"No -I'm not Stark. This is about the deal we made the other day actually." She started hesitantly. "I was talking to Steve yesterday...and he had a really good idea that I thought we could try out...you know, if you wanted to that is…" She continued awkwardly.

"Natasha?" He said interpreting her ramble. She took a deep breath.

"Yeah?"

"You're stalling." He said simply. She grumbled.

"I knew that." She said with sigh. He smiles at her reassuringly.

"You can ask me. I won't mind." He said kindly. She paused before trying again.

"I was thinking as the first step to finally attempting to forgive myself…that I would visit all the people on my ledger." She said quietly.

"Are you sure you want me to come to something that personal?" He asked warily.

"See that's the thing…I was thinking that we could do that same for you…if that's possible?" She asked cautiously. Bruce tensed and they both heard his heart monitor beep.

"I don't know all the names Natasha." He said quietly.

"Neither do I, but that's not the point. The point is to apologize to the ones you do know…and how you feel afterwards." She said tentatively.

"Do you speak from experience?" He asked cautiously.

"No – but I have it from good authority that it works wonders for closure." She said with a slight twitch of her lip.

"Do I know this good authority?" He asked warily. She shrugged.

"Maybe." She replied vaguely. He sighed and put his pen down.

"You always come in here with the most interesting conversations Natasha, but I think this time I'm going to need to think about it." he said cautiously. She nodded and stood up.

"Let me know when you come to a decision." She said as she strode out of his lab without glancing back.

"_Why do I always manage to offend him when I come down here?"_ She thought to herself angrily as she headed towards the shooting range – she need to do something to take her mind off her serious problem of being incapable of talking to the doctor without unconditionally insulting him.

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The team was huddled in a tiny SHIELD conference room discussing they latest mission. As always the Captain was in charge of dividing them into groups and assigning their tasks.

"So while Stark, Thor and I drive the fight away from the central security room, Black Widow will break into the office and Banner will tell her how to permanently disable the weapon system through a wireless com link, with Hawkeye being her back up. We need to be fast and efficient – in and out. SHIELD will deal with the men on the ground. Our mission is solely about disarming the enemy. " He told the team as he looked over the mission notes. Natasha was only half listening until the last part of his pre mission speech.

"Actually I think Bruce should come with me." She said suddenly – everyone stared at her.

"What?" They all asked in unison. She shrugged under their questioning gaze.

"He would be able to find the codes and deactivate the system faster than I could while following instructions through a com link. Tony is needed on the ground so he can't do it. You did say Captain that this mission is banking on speed." She said evenly. 5 pairs of eyes still continued to stare at her.

"I don't know if that is such a good idea Tasha." Clint said cautiously. She raised an eyebrow.

"Why? Don't you trust him?" She asked challengingly. Clint shook his head slowly.

"It's not that we don't trust Bruce…" He started. She glared at him coldly.

"…You're just not quite sure about the other guy." She finished for him. He nodded reluctantly.

"What if we fall under attack during the deactivation phase? It's not safe." He said uneasily.

"Safe for _you_ or safe for the success the mission?" She asked evenly. Bruce shifted awkwardly when everyone quickly glanced at him.

"Please don't make me the bad guy here Tasha." Clint said crossing his arms. Her eyes narrowed.

"Don't act like it then." She shot back.

"Okay whoa! We're all team players here guys. If you think it would be beneficial for the mission if Bruce just went along with you that's fine. It's your call Natasha. Clint can keep watch from above and tell us what the scene looks like on a larger scale." Captain said as he cut into the spy showdown. Clint glanced at him in disbelief.

"She would still need back up! She can't secure the floor all by herself _and_ cover Bruce at the same time!" He said. The temperature in the room dropped several degrees. Tony and Thor shared a worried look - taking a backseat in the conversation for once. Before Natasha could say anything in retort Bruce beat her to it.

"I've been fending for myself for a while guys – I can handle a gun pretty well. I'm not just all muscles." Bruce said warily. Clint finally glanced at him for the first time in this conversation and all his outrage deflated instantly.

"Sorry Bruce. I'm sure you're just as capable as the rest of us. I just needed to be sure." He said guiltily. Bruce gave him a forgiving smile. Natasha on the other hand was not so lenient and continued to glare at her partner.

"Okay team – let's meet at the jet in 15 minutes." Steve said as they filed out of the room.

"Trouble in paradise?" Tony whispered to Thor.

"What does that mean?" Thor boomed. Tony winced.

"Indoor voice buddy – indoor voice."

"My apologies Tony. What does this phrase mean?" Thor repeated in a softer tone.

"It means a couple is having difficulty and conflict within their relationship."

"I did not know that Clint and Lady Natasha were in a relationship." Thor said in confusion.

"No one really does Thor. It's just speculation – but people have been wondering about what their relationship actually is for a while. There's even a long term bet running at SHIELD about it. After a clash like that – it obviously isn't all sunshine and daisies between those two." Tony said as they boarded the jet earlier than the rest of the team.

"Sunshine and daisies?" Thor asked for clarification once again.

"I'll tell you later." Tony said with a sigh. Was this what it feels like to talk to children who don't understand the intricacies of the English language yet? If so – Tony was never having any children.

"You didn't have to do that." Bruce said as they walked towards the jet down a different hall then the rest of the team.

"It's nonsense to leave you behind for no reason when you could do the job even faster on the ground with us. There should have been no question – they're just a bunch of overgrown children. It was probably SHIELD who always put you on standby to being with since they're still cautious of you. The self-righteous bastards have caused more innocent deaths on their watch then the both of us combined." She said indignantly. He nodded but chose to remain silent.

He knew SHIELD didn't trust him as far as they could throw him. The only reason he was still assigned to the Avengers initiative and no shot dead somewhere in a backwater country is because they haven't figured out _how_ to kill him yet. He was therefore understandably wary of everyone around him since Natasha sniffed him out of Calcutta during the Loki incident. He was just beginning to feel comfortable with his team – but now it seemed even a few them were cautious of him – not that he blamed them.

"You're getting better at it you know?" He said quietly after a few moments of comfortable silence.

"At what?" She asked still fuming about her spat with Clint.

"At hiding your emotions." He said simply. She tensed but continued to keep walking.

"I think it's pretty obvious I'm angry right now." She said carefully.

"Yes – but you _want_ to show everyone that you are visibly angry. People generally feel more than one emotion at the same time. I can't smell any of your other ones." He pointed out as they got closer to the jet bunker.

"Maybe I just can't feel anything except anger right now." She said guardedly.

"It's possible – but unlikely. You're definitely more conscious of yourself around me now." He said.

"How do you know that?" She asked curiously.

"Even though you're probably furious at Clint right now – you're more relaxed around him than anyone else on the team." He replied simply. She tensed.

"That doesn't mean anything – it's just a natural partner thing." She said defensively.

"I know. But that doesn't make it any less true." He said calmly. She thought about that for a second.

"How do you know I'm not just shutting down emotionally like last time?" She asked inquisitively.

"You can't shut down _and_ show one strong emotion at the same time Natasha." He said with a small smile. She remained silent for a few moments.

"I'm still afraid." She admitted reluctantly.

"I would be worriedly if you weren't." He said steadily.

"But that doesn't mean I don't trust you." She said turning around and looking at him straight in the eye. He stared back at her calmly.

"That's a dangerous statement to make on a spy ship Natasha." He said guardedly. She continued to stare at him hoping he would somehow see the truth in her eyes.

"I don't care." She said firmly. He nodded before finally looking away.

"I still haven't made my decision yet." He said quietly.

"That's fine –doesn't mean I can't look out for you as your friend." She replied.

"Friend?" He asked in surprise. She gave him a funny look.

"Yeah. We're friends – aren't we?"

"I…yeah I guess so." He said puzzled.

"What's so weird about that?" She asked as they finally got onto the jet. She didn't tell him that they had taken the longer route to the bunker. She had wanted to say a few things to him alone before they started their first mission together side by side.

"Nothing! I just…" He started.

"Ready for takeoff guys?" Clint's voice resonated over the cabin speakers – interrupting Bruce's response. "You better buckle in– it's going to be a bumpy ride." He said as they all heard the engines start with a loud rumble.

'…_haven't had a real friend who would stand up for me in a long time.' _He finished in his head.

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Do you guys like the slow build? I'm starting to feel their relationship changing! They're not just strangers anymore! They're friends now! Let me know what you think guys (and girls) lol!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 – When the world is on fire just hold on tight**

"Okay – so is everyone clear with the plan?" Steve said as they landed in a field a mile from their target site.

"Yes." They all replied in unison.

"Good. So Stark, Thor and Clint you're coming with me. We're going to walk right through the front door. Natasha and Bruce – you've both memorized the passageways – you know how to get in through the back. We'll meet back here in 2 hours whether the mission is successful or not. And for god's sake keep your com links open while in the field." He said looking around at his team. He gave Natasha a quick nod before heading off to circle the perimeter on the north side. Tony gave her an _I'm watching you _hand gesture and Thor just waved his hammer in goodbye before following after the Captain.

That left Natasha and Bruce all alone once more. She turned to Bruce and shared an amused look with him.

"Stark is like an over grown brother." She said dryly. Bruce shrugged sheepishly.

"Yeah – I didn't see that one coming. He really likes have an invincible lab partner – less liabilities issues." He said with a roll of his eyes. She chuckled as she picked up their mission equipment and started walking in the opposite direction from where the Captain and the others went. Bruce followed not far behind.

"I think you were under estimating yourself back in the conference room by the way." He said after a few moments of companionable silence.

"Hmm? Why do you say that?" She asked as they ducked underneath a large branch close to the ground.

"You know your way around disabling systems just as well as Tony or I do. If all else failed you can physically destroy the files just as fast as we can delete them from the system. You deliberately made yourself sound incompetent to get me into the field." He concluded evenly.

Her lips twitched upwards but she remained silent. He shook his head at her silence.

"You shouldn't have done that – it might look bad on you as an agent." He said cautiously.

"Don't worry about it – Cap doesn't take those little things that seriously. He knows that I know what I'm doing." She replied steadily taking in their surroundings.

"Are you _sure_ you know what you're doing?" He asked warily.

"Positive. Stop doubting yourself Bruce. Take this opportunity to show the team your strengths and merits outside of being the Hulk. Today we need Bruce the genius scientist who knows his way around guns and can break in or out of high security buildings with ease. I'm not asking you to forget your past or forgive yourself for the things you have done – all I'm asking of you right now is to _trust_ yourself. Trust yourself to make the right decisions now and accept the fact that you can do this mission. Can you do that?" She asked looking at him straight in the eye. "Because I refuse to walk through this sewer entrance without being sure my partner has my back and is confident enough to get the job done." He shifted cautiously under her steel gaze before sighing.

"Okay. I can do this." He said determinedly.

"Good. Let's go – we have mission to complete." She said as she got down and opened the grate that lead into a dark tunnel. "Newbies first." She said blankly.

"Haha – very funny." He said as he climbed down. She smirked and followed after him. Once they reached the bottom Natasha took out a small flashlight and started walking through the confusing tunnels. They stopped in front of path that diverges into two paths.

"We turn left, right?" He said remembering back to the map. She nodded.

"Good, you remember – see? You're a natural." She said as they continued onward.

"Knowing your way around a brand new place is one thing – trying to figure out how to disable a highly secured security system under pressure is complete different." Bruce said dryly. She shrugged.

"You'll manage." She said simply. He rolled his eyes – not like he had any other option.

They came closer to the building they were searching for when Natasha paused.

"Did you hear that?" She asked carefully. He nodded.

"Something just buzzed right through the com link." he replied. She raised her hand to her ear.

"Captain – are you there?" She asked.

"…_continue mission…interference…static…buzz…" _Was all they heard before the link went dead. She sighed.

"They're good – there is a signal interference set up around the perimeter." She said taking the communicator out of her ear and tucking it into her pocket. Bruce copied her action and did the same.

"But we go on with the mission?" He asked enquiringly. She nodded.

"We continue on."

They finally reached the right exit and started climbing up the rusty ladder. When they reached the top Natasha looked around and recognized the room form the misson photos.

"We're in the basement. We have 20 stories to clear before we make it to the security room." She said as they surveyed the room.

"Most of the hired guns are outside dealing with Cap and the others - but there are still a few guards lurking around in the building. Keep your eyes open." She said as they opened a door and started down the hall. They noticed a guard walking around the corner a few feet down the hall.

When the guard was about to pass them she silently choked him and quickly knocked him out. She gently lowered the body to the ground before they moved on. They came across another group of guards on the 12th floor. She skillfully took out the first guard before the other two noticed something was amiss. She ducked as one of them took out a gun and fired a few shots her way. She knocked him off his feet and kicked his face into the wall. She caught sight of a knife in her peripheral vision and spun around about to catch it before it made contact with her skin. She paused when a clear shot rang through the air and the last guard fell forward. She leaned against a wall and looked up.

"You're right – you are good with a gun." She said after a few minutes of heavy breathing.

"What – did you think I would miss?" He asked warily.

"Not exactly – I thought you would accidently miss the real target and hit me instead." She replied with a grin. He scowled at her.

"Not funny."

"It sort of is."

"Just keep moving." He said pointing towards the staircase off to the side. She rolled her eyes and led the way. The made it to the 20th floor without much more difficulty. That was easy – almost _too_ easy.

They found the security room in no time and took out the guards effortlessly. Natasha paused warily – shouldn't the guards stationed around the most important room in the building be a bit better trained?

"Let's do this quickly and get the hell out. Something's not right." She said as she shoved the security room door open and looked around. Bruce quickly walked over towards the computer and started working through the firewalls and bypassing all the security measures. She looked around as the door swung shut behind her. The office was neat and tidy – the only real thing worth any interest was the computer sitting on top of a moderately large desk.

She noticed a bulging object underneath the computer desk and crouched down to get a better look. She took out her flash light to see more clearly what the object was and froze.

00:00:00:45

"_Shit_ – they knew we were coming." Natasha said before she jumped up and moved away from the desk.

"What? What's wrong?" He asked worriedly.

"There's a bomb underneath that desk. We don't have enough time to defuse it - forget the files we have to get out." She said steadily, but he felt an undercurrent wave of anxiety. He stopped typing and they both rushed towards the door.

It was locked.

"What the hell?" He said as he tugged on the handle.

"Damn. They locked us in from the outside." She said as she searched for a something to pick the lock with or another way out.

"What do we do?" Bruce asked as he realized that the door was a dead end. They both looked towards the window. Bruce shook his head.

"_No_. Natasha – that is _not_ a good idea!" Bruce said instantly shoot that idea down.

"Thirty seconds Bruce. We have thirty seconds to come up with a better idea or we _have_ to jump." She said as she felt around the edges of the window to see if there was any way to open it.

"That's a freaking 20 story fall!" He shouted.

"20 seconds!" She shouted back.

"It's suicide! No one would survive that!" He said angrily. She smiled at him sadly.

"That's not true – you would." She said quietly. He punched the wall beside the window angrily.

"15 seconds Bruce." She whispered.

"I'm not leaving without you damn it!" He shouted.

"10 seconds." She closed her eyes.

He growled angrily before he grabbed her around the waist and threw them both out the window. The explosion went off and rained glass around them as they fell through the sky.

"YOU'RE AN IDIOT!" He shouted as he wrapped himself around her as best as possible.

"You can yell at me all you want if I live through this fall!" She yelled back.

"I'm going to Hulk out before we both die!" He warned before she felt the body around her expand rapidly. She lost consciousness before she could respond.

_**Several moments later. **_

She groaned.

"Am I dead?"

"Do you feel dead?"

"I feel like I broke a million bones." She said as she tried to move her left arm – not happening.

"I think you only broke a couple – but you probably have a million bruises." He said carefully helping her into a sitting position.

"How did you change back so fast?" She asked with a wince.

"It's easier to change back when I initiated the first transformation – I have more control." He replied.

"I knew you'd be a good partner." She said weakly. He scoffed.

"Doesn't look like I did a good job – you nearly died!" He said incredulously.

"But I'm not dead." She pointed out. His anger deflated quickly.

"No – you're not dead." He agreed.

"Have you made your decision yet?" She asked suddenly.

"What?" He asked bewilderedly. She watched him patiently.

"About finding closure together." She clarified. If it was possible he looked even more baffled.

"You're practically dying yourself and you're asking me to go to a graveyard with you? Do you know how messed up that sounds?" Bruce asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah, but I won't accept any medical attention until you say yes." She said with a cough. She tried to hide the blood but he could smell it anyway.

"You need a doctor." He said picking her up effortlessly - mindful of her broken arm.

"I didn't break my legs Bruce – I can walk fine." She protested. He gave her a withering look.

"You fell 200 feet through the air _without_ a parachute - I'm going to carry whether you like it or not." he said firmly as they made their way back towards the sewer entrance.

"You didn't answer my question." She mumbled grumpily. He chuckled and tried not to jostle her too much.

"Okay."

"Okay? What does okay mean?" She asked sounding puzzled.

"It's mean I'll go try out this closure thing with you." He replied as they reached the sewers and gently placed her on to her feet. He pushed open the metal door and helped her ease her way through the gap.

"I hate sewers - sewer's stink." She said scrunching up her nose in disgust.

"I think there was a point to them leading away from places where people tend to cohabitate." he said in amusement.

"Clint is going to kill me." She said with a sigh. He looked at her funnily.

"You're jumping from one topic to another - are you okay?" He asked worriedly.

"I don't know…I think I have a concussion." She said before she passed out and nearly hit her head once more if Bruce hadn't caught her in her fall.

"You're so wrong. He's not going to kill you – he's going to kill _me_." Bruce muttered to himself as he picked up the bruised and broken spy once more and carried her back to the jet.

**Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha **

"She goes on _one_ mission with you and she comes back looking like _that_?" Clint shouted. Bruce winced, but didn't deny anything – he should have seen it coming.

"Clint – they couldn't have known there was a bomb or that it was a set up. It's a miracle they're both alive at all." Tony said placidly.

"They fell out of a freaking 20 story building!" He yelled indignantly. Bruce sighed – they were going to be here for a while.

"WOULD YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP? SOMEONE IS TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!" Natasha bellowed from her place on the emergency bed.

Silence.

"Thank you! He saved my life. If he didn't take the majority of the hit I would be dead. If you were there with me Clint – we'd _both_ be dead. So cut the poor man some slack and SHUT UP!" She said angrily before all the energy drained from her system and she fell back onto the bed.

"Bruce?" She said faintly.

"Yeah?" He answered.

"Do we have any Tylenol?" She asked. He chuckled.

"You're going to need a lot more than just Tylenol."

"Damn."

**Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha **

Hey everyone! What did you think about Bruce and Natasha's first real mission together?


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – First steps **

She slowly came back to consciousness, but her training kicked in and caused her to still appear to be sleeping. She assessed her situation from inside out. She didn't feel any real pain but her left arm was numb. She didn't hear any indication that she was in trouble either – all she really heard was the soft breathing of someone not too far away from her. After assessing that she was for the moment relatively safe, her eyes flickered open and she looked around. She was definitely not on a jet anymore. She was in a white room, in a white bed, with white sheets while wearing a white gown. Call her crazy but she thinks she's in a hospital. She looked out the window that displayed a busy hall of medical personnel along with many dark suits. Ah. She was in SHIELD medical. That was an even worst fate that being captured by the enemy.

She sighed and finally noticed the tired body slumped against the foot of her bed. That looked really uncomfortable. The head full of messy curls sunk deeper into the sheets as the man continued to sleep in that awkward position. She chuckled softly. He could have slept in his quarters on the ship but instead he chose to sleep here – probably waiting for her to wake up. She looked to her side and noticed a pile of get well soon cards and sitting on top of them was a tiny group of action figures. There was a little Iron Man, Thor, Hawkeye, Captain America and a Hulk. The first four were holding a sorry card – she smiled at their unconventional thoughtfulness. She picked up the Hulk toy. It wasn't even close to how scary the real thing was – but that was probably the point.

Her movements seemed to cause the slumbering figure to stir and sleepily looked up around him. Suddenly he bolted upright and starting apologizing frantically.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! You're awake! I was sleeping on your bed – did I wake you? Do you need anything?" He asked anxiously. She chuckled at his unsurprising reaction. She shook her head and smiled at him.

"Why are you smiling?" He asked cautiously. She shrugged.

"No reason." She said simply. He looked at her suspiciously.

"You're too happy for someone who just woke up in a hospital room a few hours after a near death experience." He said slowly. She rolled her eyes.

"You're a doctor and apparently a psychologist – why don't you tell me why I might be ecstatic right now?" She teased.

"Aside from the fact that you aren't a pancake?" He asked warily. She snorted.

"Yes, aside from the fact I'm alive."

He sat there and thought about that for a second. Then he groaned.

"You're happy because of our epic mission fail I agreed to your creepy graveyard trip." He said as his head fell back onto the bed. She rolled her eyes at his antics once more.

"Yes and no. I'm happy we are finally going to do something about these ghosts, but the mission was not a failure – the explosion definitely took out the files with it." She said simply. He waved her comment away with his hand.

"Details." He mumbled into the sheets. She raised an eyebrow but decided she would let that one rest for today.

"So Doctor Banner – in your professional opinion – what is my diagnosis?" She asked curiously. He looked up and gave her a bemused look.

"_Not_ _good_. But not as bad as it could have been." He said vaguely. She stared at him as if to say – _seriously_ _that's it? _He rolled his eyes and sat upright in his chair once more.

"Other than a million cuts and bruises you had all over your body? You actually didn't break any bones. You only seriously twisted your left arm – it will have to be splintered for a week at least." He said sliding effortlessly into Doctor Mode. She watched him in amazement. He really was so much more than just an enormous green rage monster. She unconsciously decided in that moment that she was going to make him one day see in the mirror what she sees in him right now – even if she has to die trying.

"What would you say if I suddenly decided to disappear from medical right now?" She asked suddenly. He watched her warily.

"Would I be able to stop you?" He asked in return. She simply grinned at him and he sighed.

"You would be discharged in the morning at the latest. If you want to run away sooner I won't stop you." He finally relented. She did a small fist pump before throwing the ugly white sheets off of her and standing up. She wobbled and grabbed on his shoulders. He steadied her and raised an eyebrow.

"Don't you dare say it! I had near death experience – you can't blame me for being a little unbalanced at first." She said sticking her tongue out at him. She looked around searching for something. "Do you know where my clothes are?" She asked curiously. He pointed to the side table. She opened the draw and pulled out a fresh set of clothes. She looked at him expectantly.

"Well?" She asked. He looked at her in confusion before realization set in and he turned beet red. He spun around and frantically covered his eyes. She laughed at his cute reaction once again. She started to change into her own clothes and discard the ugly white gown when halfway through the process she came across the problem of how to get her splinted arm through her sleeve.

"Um Bruce? A little help here?" She asked awkwardly. He turned around with his eyes still closed. She watched him in amusement.

"You're going to need to see to help me you know." She said dryly. She could see some red creeping up his neck as he opened his eyes slowly. She raised an eyebrow.

"Help?" She asked warily. He coughed into his hand before helping her get her injured arm into her sleeve.

"There – now you're ready to run away in style." He said staring anywhere but at her. She suddenly grinned evilly at him. Uh oh – that was never a good sign.

_5 minutes later. _

Bruce was decked out in a medical coat while pushing a large cart full of what looked like medical supplies down the hall and towards the exit.

"I can't believe you talked me into this." He whispered under his breath. She snorted from under the sheets.

"Just a bit farther." She whispered back while peeking out from the gap between the sheets. Once they were finally out of the medical bay Bruce stopped in an empty hall and helped her out of the cart.

"They have security camera's stationed everywhere you know." He said as they started walking towards the hanger.

"Yes – but it pays off to be nice to your fellow agents – they don't mind turning a blind eye when you're trying to make a hasty exit." She replied as they quickly made their way down the most unpopulated halls in the ship. He nodded clearly impressed.

"How do you plan on getting on a working plane and off the ship without anyone finding out?" He asked curiously. She held up a security pass and Bruce rolled his eyes.

"I nicked this from Agent Hill a while ago. Gets you access to all areas of the ship and clearance for takeoff. I'm a prominent enough agent in SHIELD where not many agents are above my status. And I'm helpful enough that all the junior agents absolutely adore me." She said as they enter the hanger. She nodded to some of the pilots there and they waved back.

"And why is that?" He asked curiously.

"I save them from the wrath and Fury and Hill whenever I am around." She said as she signaled to the control room to prepare for her take off.

"I have this feeling you've done this before." He said dryly. She smirked but made no comment. She walked up to one of the smaller jets and climbed in.

"So? Are you coming or not?" She asked from the cockpit. He looked at the aircraft warily.

"Me and small enclosed spaces don't go very well together." He replied. She rolled her eyes.

"As long as we're not attacked on our way down it won't be a problem right?" She asked. He nodded slowly.

"What if I reach the ground and suddenly need a doctor?" She said mischievously.

"Are you trying to guilt me into coming with you Agent Romanoff?" He asked incredulously.

"Is it working?" She asked starting up the jet and placing the headset over her ears. He shifted from one foot to another before finally making up his mind. He climbed up the side of the jet and took a seat beside her.

"You are a wicked, wicked lady you know that?" He said buckling in. She shrugged as they prepared for takeoff.

"I try." She said as she turned on the communication link. "Black widow and Hulk ready for takeoff. Clear." She said into her headset.

"Black widow and Hulk confirmed. Gateway open. Clear." An agent from the control room acknowledged.

"I hope you didn't have a big breakfast Doctor." She said as they pulled forward.

"Why is that?" He asked as he found himself pushed back against his seat by the sheer force of the jet. She smirked.

"Because of this." She said simply. She pushed the joystick up and they cleared the opening of the helicarrier just in time to fall through the sky for a few moments before shooting forward at high speed. Bruce grabbed onto the armrests as he lost complete control of his bearings. He didn't what was up anymore.

"Oh my god." He said as he tried to find his stomach - he thinks he left it back on helicarrier. Natasha smirked.

"That was my exact reaction the first time I rode in a small double jet as well!" She shouted over the wind noise.

"I doubt that very much! Where are we going exactly?" He shouted back. She had that creepy grin on her face again.

"We're going to Russia Doc." She said as she pulled them into a few acrobatic loops across the sky.

"Holy shit – I'm going to throw up!" He said as the dizziness from the rapid movement finally caught up with him. She quickly righted the jet and waited for him to lose the green tint in his face – no pun intended (mostly.) After a few moments of deep breathing he looked at her incredulously.

"Did you just say _Russia_?" He asked in shock.

"That's what I said isn't?" She said not so subtly avoiding the question. He narrowed his eyes at her.

"Natasha…" He said warningly. She deliberately chooses not to look at him.

"Why are we going to Russia?" He asked suspiciously.

"Would you believe me if I said some of the graves I want to visit are there?" She asked in response.

"Well after a comment like that no." He said squarely. She sighed.

"There's someone I promised I would see on July 1st and that's tomorrow." She finally relented. He tilted his head curiously.

"This someone is alive right?" He asked. She scowled at him.

"Of course! I don't only know dead people you know!" She said heatedly. He put his hands up in defense.

"Sorry - not judging." He said apologetically. She burned a hole into his head with a glare but had to look away to make sure they didn't crash.

"We're going to visit a little girl named Sophia – she was one of the girls that I helped escape from the Red Room program a few years ago. I visit her once a year usually on July 1st – the day she was free to live her own life on her terms." She said quietly after a few moments of companionable silence. Bruce sat there thoughtfully watching her pilot the jet with ease – even with an injured arm. He finally came to a decision and placed a warm hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him curiously.

"You're a good person Natasha Romanoff – no matter what darkness you carry inside of you." He said firmly. She felt his honesty radiant through his words and slowly nodded.

"Thank you." She murmured in response. One day he would accept those words geared towards him as well – she would see to it.

Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha

That was 360 change of pace I know! I thought we could have a have a change from the super serious mission atmosphere ;) shameless fluff anyone? Let me know which one you like better (fluff or action) I can always just write it in a weird mix and match form :)


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: They will only be in Russia for this one chapter. Listen to 'safe and sound' by Taylor Swift for the entire effect.**

**Chapter 5 – Finding closure in faraway lands**

They landed in a field not far from a little village that was located by the shore of the ocean. Natasha turned the cloaking device on so that no one would see their ride before she climbed out of the tiny aircraft. Bruce followed quickly not far behind. When they were on solid ground once more Bruce fell to his knees.

"LAND! I will never undervalue you again!" He said as he hugged a tree. Natasha rolled her eyes.

"I don't fly _that_ badly." She said warily. He looked up at her in disbelief.

"We did over one hundred loops and at least three sky dives! THREE!" He said still in shock. She winced – maybe she had over done it a bit with a first time flyer.

"Sorry – I'll make it up to you with dinner?" She asked tentatively. He paused in his attack on the poor tree to glance at her.

"Are you buying?" He asked curiously. She shook her head hesitantly.

"Not exactly. We're going to have dinner with Sophia and her family." She said as she picked up her bag and started walking down a small dirt trail. He let go of the tree and caught up with her.

"Wouldn't they mind if you brought a complete stranger with you unannounced?" He asked uncertainly. She shook her head.

"No. The more the merry is their motto – until they run out of food that is." She said as they approached a huge building facing the ocean with hundreds of windows across the entire front and back. He stopped and just looked at the gigantic mansion.

"Sophia lives _here_?" He asked in awe. "It's a pretty enchanting place to live." He said as they walked up to the front door.

"You will regret those words in 5 seconds." She said as she knocked. The gigantic door swung open to reveal a little girl in a white dress.

"Здравствуйте. Меня зовут Natasha. Вы знаете, где Sophia?" She said to the little girl. She smiled at her brightly and nodded before running off.

"What did you say to her?" Bruce asked.

"You'll see." She replied. Suddenly they heard a huge rumbled of feet running down a hall upstairs. What could _that_ be?

A huge group of little girls ran down the stairs and crowded around them at the door. Wow. A little quiet girl off to the side with dark hair and cautious eyes waved at Natasha. She waved back.

"Wow Sophia has a big family." Bruce said in surprise. She chuckled.

"It's a young girl's orphanage." She explained just as a strict looking elderly lady walked into the hall. All the girls froze and scurried away.

"Выполнить для вашей жизни!" They squeaked. The lady had a very bemused expression on her face. He did not think that the girls screamed something kind. She came down the stairs and embraced Natasha with a hug.

"Natasha это было слишком долго!" She said pulling back and cupping Natasha's cheek lovingly. She must have known Natasha for a long time. He could feel the love and affection coming off of her in waves. Natasha also seemed to be recuperating the soft emotions. He wondered if this was akin to something like a mother figure for her.

"Мы должны наверстать упущенное позже Natasha. Sophia ждали дольше, чем я вас видеть." She said holding her hand out to the quiet girl who was still waiting off to the side. Sophia took the lady's offered hand and came closer to them. Natasha fell to her knees and embraced her as well. He started to feel like an intruder in their heartwarming moment, until the little girls eyes landed on him. He could feel her stare pierce his soul. It was exactly how Natasha looked at him the first time they met.

"Hello." She said quietly. She tilted her head to the side curiously. It seems she was studying him. He smiled at her softly and gave a little wave.

"Hi. My name is Bruce." He said holding out his hand. She stared at it for a few moments before accepting his offered shake.

"My name is Sophia. You are Natasha's friend?" She asked curiously, her accent curved around her words – but it did not hinder them.

"Yes. Are you her friend too?" He asked. She smiled shyly.

"I hope so." She replied cheekily. He laughed. It was a long time since he had a nonmedical conversation with a child.

"Why did the other girls run away Sophia?" he asked conversationally. He watched Natasha have a conversation with the lady who was probably the headmistress of the orphanage. She gave her one last hug before the lady walked away. Sophia glanced around hesitantly.

"Because we are not supposed to frighten guests." She whispered. He gave her a reassuring smile, but in the back of his head he wondered how a group of cute little girls could frighten anyone.

"We weren't frightened." He said with a wink. Natasha walked back over to them and patted Sophia on the head.

"I hear it's time for dinner. Shall we go?" She asked. Sophia nodded and led the way.

"How are you connected to the orphanage and Sophia, Natasha?" He asked as they walked down a few long and confusing series of halls. She shrugged.

"I funded the construction of the orphanage. Sophia was the first girl to live here with Madame Elena." She explained as they stopped in front of a large door. Bruce looked around in awe. The size and detail was just beautiful.

"This doesn't count – you still owe me dinner." He said as they walked through the doorway that led into the gigantic mess hall.

"Whatever. It can be you're birthday present." She said nonchalantly as Sophia led her down to one of the tables occupied by her friends. He faltered in his step as he followed after them. She glanced at him curiously but didn't comment on it.

As they got settled in, Sophia whispered something in Natasha's ear. She smiled and nodded. Before dinner started Natasha got up to make a little toast.

"Можем ли мы всегда быть свободными и жить на наших собственных условиях. Может, мы пришли к пониманию нашего прошлого, оставаться сильными в наше настоящее и за приходят препятствия в наше будущее." She said as she raised her glass. Everyone copied her action. Even though Bruce didn't understand a word of what she was saying he was fascinated by her mother tongue and raised his glass as well. She sat back down and did another little toast for his benefit.

"May we always be free and live life by our own terms. May we come to accept our past, stay strong in our present and overcome the obstacles in our future." She said as she raised her glass to him. He stared back at her and clicked their glasses together.

_A few hours later. _

Natasha was sitting outside watching the bright sky completely filled with stars – nothing like the dull sky they had back in New York. She could hear the little girls' laughter in the background and closed her eyes. This was what she wanted to hear before she went to sleep. Not gunshots and frightening screams from the room next door every night. She heard the door softly open behind her and someone walk across the patio to come and sit beside her.

"You chose a beautiful place to build an orphanage." He said quietly. She smiled softly.

"Thank you. I think it's peaceful here and those girls need peace more than anything else."

"They're a very interesting group of girls. Did you know they're having a mini archery contest inside right now?" he said interestedly.

"Are they now?" She asked curiously. He nodded as he watched the sky with her.

"Yeah – and they all have _extremely_ good shots." he said causally, but she heard the underlying question. She waited for him to ask.

"Who are they Natasha?" He asked finally looking away from the sky and staring at her. She sighed and stared back.

"They're just little girls Bruce – just little girls." She replied.

"Are they all little girls like Sophia?" He asked warily. Her lips twitched but she didn't respond. He got his answer anyway.

"Are they in danger?" He asked after a few moments. She shook her head.

"No. All the girls here are presumed dead from assignments gone wrong. No one is here against their own will. When they're old enough they can leave and go wherever they want." She said as she pulled her knees to her chest.

"Why did you never tell SHIELD about this place?" He asked looking into the woods in front of them. There seemed to be a clearing not far in the distance.

"SHIELD may be considered the good guys in the grand scheme of things Bruce – but even they blur the lines between what is right and wrong. Young girls with no families and field skills beyond many of their senior agents – it would be too tempting." She said quietly. He nodded. He understood people blurring the lines all too well.

"Thank you." He said simply. She looked at him curiously.

"For what?" She asked.

"For trusting me enough to bring me here." He said. She smiled.

"You're welcome." She said as she picked up a rock from the ground and stared the smooth surface. She turned it upside down and saw all the scratches and marks it carried underneath it.

"Do you want to go somewhere with me?" She suddenly asked.

"Sure – where do you want to go?" He asked curiously. She pushed herself off the floor and stood up.

"You'll see." She said as she started walking down the patio stairs and into the woods. He quickly got up and followed after her. They walked deeper and deeper into the wilderness. They could hear the night life come alive around them as they walked in companionable silence.

"There's someone I haven't seen in 20 years." She started quietly. He listened intently but made no comment. "She was a real buddle of joy in the bleak darkness of our lives during our days in the Red Room program." She said as she crouched down to pick a few wild daisies that were growing beside a tree. "She was different from the other girls. She actually thought we could one day outsmart our handlers and escape. She had the one thing they thought they could beat out of us." She paused at the edge of a small fenced off graveyard. She looked back at him and smiled sadly. "She had hope."

Natasha pushed open the gate and slowly walked into the plot. She passed several small graves - he noticed the dates were all very close together. These were young lost souls. She stopped in front of a grave that stood separate from all the rest. "Hello Irena." She said with a faraway look. "It's been a long time." Bruce stood beside her quietly – he doesn't think she knows he's there anymore. She was lost in the past.

"A lot has happened in 20 years you know. You were right – the world is a beautiful place when you know where to look." She placed the daisies by the tomb stone. "You wanted to visit America of all places - so I eventually visited it for you. Let me tell you it's not all it's cracked up to be." She chuckled to herself. "But I think you would've still liked it." She said quietly.

"I finally built that orphanage we planned to start together. It's full of laughter and warmth – just like you wanted. I hope you would've been proud of me Irena. I finally broke away from the handlers – with a little bit of persuasion from an archer." She said warily. He watched her shift hesitantly trying to find the words she really came here to say. He felt her take a deep breath.

She let a few silent tears drop onto her cheeks.

"I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to run with you when I had the chance. I'm sorry I let you down as your big sister." She said finally letting go of the painfully words that had been buried in her chest all these years.

_Irena Romanoff. _

_1984-1993 _

_She was always the light at the end of the tunnel. _

He hesitantly wrapped an arm around her shoulder and gave her a comforting squeeze.

She leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Let's go home Bruce."

"Okay."

**Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha **

I hope you all felt the emotion in this chapter. I also hope I did Natasha's ghosts justice.


	6. Chapter 6

**One day you have to stop running from the world **

**A/N: Thank you anonymous reviewer! You're review completely cleared up my writer's block on this story! You're absolutely right! I went back and edited all my chapters and cleared up all the OCCness I could find. It's been a while so I suggest you all read the last few chapters again. I am so sorry guys for the long gap between updates! I totally didn't know where to take this story but now I have an idea! I hope you like it! **

**Chapter 6**

Clint was walking past the target range early that morning when he heard the rapid telltale gunshots coming from behind the closed door. He paused beside the range - Tasha was back.

He slowly opened the door and walked into the room. He saw the focused marksman emptying her rounds into the moving targets spread out around the range. He walked around the fence and slowly came to a stop behind her. It was always interesting to watch her in action - she never missed a direct shot.

He waited another 5 minutes patiently until she finished her session. When the targets finally stopped moving she stepped out of the fenced range breathing heavily and stared at him completely drenched in perspiration from the intense reflexive workout. Her entire body was tingling with adrenaline and she finally felt relaxed after the crazy few weeks they had.

"Hey Tasha." Clint said with a wary smile. She gave him a calculative look.

"Hello Clint." She responded with a nod. He shifted slightly under her questioning gaze but made no attempt at leading this conversation. They both stood there as an awkward silence stretched on between them.

"It been a while since we've talked outside of the field hasn't it?" She finally asked quietly. He shrugged.

"Honestly I don't think we've talked much at all since the loki incident." He replied cautiously. She tensed slightly but he would've completely missed it if they hadn't known each as well as they did.

"I've been...busy." She said slowly. He snorted.

"I've noticed." He said simply. She raised an eyebrow at his curt response.

"That's it? You're not going to swarm me with a million questions like you usually do?" She asked in disbelief. He leaned against the wall and shrugged.

"Are you happy?" He asked seriously.

"What do you mean am I happy?" She asked slowly uncrossing her arms and letting them hang beside her.

"It's a simple question Tasha - just answer it." He said frankly.

"What's your definition of happy Clint - because I don't have one." She asked instead of giving him a straight answer. She was starting to feel like she didn't want to go down the path this conversation seemed destined to lead to. Clint gave her a knowing look.

"Relative to the worst experience you ever had in your life - the nicer the moment you're living in right now the happier you should be." He explained skillfully. He was able to explain a complex emotion such as happiness in a single sentence and in an understandable manner.

"Anything is better than _my_ worst memory." She said plainly. He snorted.

"And yet you always seem like a different variation of just plain miserable." He said with a unimpressed look on his face. She scowled at him.

"Do you have a reason for being here or do you just want to bother me until I turn you into my next target practice?" She said giving him a withering look. He didn't even blink.

"I was just wondering...will I be getting my best friend back any time soon?" He asked quietly staring off at a blank spot on the wall above her shoulder. She sighed and put her pistol down on the table next to her.

"You know I'm not good with those things Clint." She said as she started to put her training equipment away. He pushed off the wall and walked over to help her put her guns back into their case.

"You seem to be doing just fine with Bruce." He said without looking at her. He saw her freeze in her motions but continued to close the containers as she tried to find her voice.

"Bruce...Bruce is different." She finally managed to say without wincing. He took the key out of her stilled hand and locked the box before he finally looked up at her questioning eyes.

"I know he is - he's everything I'm not. And that's okay. So I'm going to ask again Tasha - are you happy?" He asked her earnestly. She opened and closed her mouth for a few seconds at a loss for words.

"I...we're not like that Clint. Nothing like that." She said shaking her head.

"Maybe not now, but in a year or two you might just be singing a different tune. You're fascinated by him - I can tell." He said as he watched a millions different emotions flashed through her eyes - she stopped at denial.

"I don't think I have enough of me left to give anyone Clint. Sometimes even _I_ get confused with where Natasha ends and Black Widow begins." She said staring at her hands.

"Did you show him the orphanage?" He asked suddenly changing the direction of the conversation. She looked startled but nodded slowly.

"Yes, but -" She started to say, but he interrupted her before she could finish her sentence.

"Did you tell him the truth about the girls?" He asked staring straight at her. She faulted in her response.

"No - he figured that out by himself, but what does-" She got interrupted once again.

"Does he make you feel safe?" He pressed on. She growled in frustration and simply chose not to answer at all - but her silence was more than enough.

"You have more than enough pieces Tasha. He's not perfect either." He continued while ignoring the heatedly glares being thrown his way. He paused when he saw an anxiousness lurking behind her eyes as well. So he wasn't entirely off.

"We were a mess Tasha - he's much better for you." He said giving her one last meaningful look before he pushed off his knees and stood up. She slowly rose to her feet as well.

"What about your apprehension about the other guy? Why the sudden change of heart Clint?" She asked narrowing her eyes suspiciously. He shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"You should watch the mission footage SHIELD has on file - particularly the last bit of it." Was all he said before he walked out of the room, leaving a very unsettled Russian spy in his wake.

**Brutasha brutasha brutasha brutasha brutasha brutasha brutasha brutasha brutasha brutasha **

They landed in New York fairly late at night without any problems. Bruce wasn't as scared the second time around - but maybe that was because Natasha was flying in a more calmly fashion then before.

He walked into the elevator and was about to press the number for his floor when he glanced at his watch. It was 4 am...no one would be awake at this hour right? He snorted. No _sane_ person would. He hit the level 4 basement button and sighed. He wondered if the mad genius was still alive after a few days without supervision. The first thing he noticed when the elevator doors slid open was the strong smell of brunt plastic and the large path of destruction leading down the hall. He sighed again in resignation. The engineer really did blow his lab up once again.

He carefully walked around the rubble and cautiously avoided touching anything covered in a smoking green substance. He courteouslyignored the gaping hole in the wall and typed in the passcode of the door that led into Tony Stark's personal lab. He walked into the room as the door swung open and looked around at the mess that covered every surface of the lab. He could see various iron man parts, tools, notes, dangerous chemicals and a large bottle of an unknown green substance in a sealed glass container - all proof that this was Tony Stark's domain. The real question was - where was the scientist himself?

Bruce walked through the chaos and looked under a work table at the back of the room. There laid the brilliant Tony Stark - snoring up a storm while hugging a small metal bot and a cell phone in each arm. Bruce tensed and quickly fumbled to take out his phone from his jacket pocket.

_7 missed calls from Mr. Awesome Badass_

He felt so bad he couldn't even be angry at the fact that Tony had changed his contact name - _again_.

He would've let the sleep deprived genius sleep - but that had to be _seriously_ uncomfortable. How on earth did he manage to fall asleep like that?

He crouched down and gentled shook the snoozing eccentric billionaire. He skillfully avoided a flailing arm as Tony rolled over and promptly banged his head against the edge of the table.

"OH MY GOD THAT HURTS!" Tony shouted as he held his bruised forehead in pain. Bruce winced - that was going to leave a mark.

"That's what you get for falling asleep in odd places Tony." Bruce said warily sitting two feet to Tony's right. The billionaire's head whipped towards the sound of his voice and he smacked his face against the table once more. Bruce shook his head. He never learns.

"AGH!" Tony shouted as he fell to the ground since his head was spinning from all the concussions he was giving himself. Bruce rolled his eyes and dragged the poor bruised engineer out from under the table of death and concussions.

"Don't...don't sneak up on me like that Brucie." Tony said sleepily rubbing his injured head. Bruce gave him an unimpressed look.

"An army of alien mutated monkeys could run rampage through the streets and you wouldn't have felt a thing." Bruce said dryly.

"Nah JARVIS would make sure I was awake for that - can't let the lovely city I do business in be leveled to the floor and all." Tony said waving his comment away. Bruce sighed - always disguising his good deeds as selfish intentions - even while he was half awake. Tony finally managed to open his bruised eye and froze when he actually noticed who he was talking to.

"Oh my god! You're back!" Tony shouted in shock. Bruce watched the overexcited engineer warily.

"Don't jump again - you might hit the ceiling - and I don't think you'll stay conscious after a third concussion." Bruce said dryly. Tony scowled at him as he sat up and massaged his aching head.

"I see you survived the few days Red held you captive in Russia." Tony said inspecting his injuries with his hands.

"How do you know we were in Russia?" Bruce asked in surprise.

"Tech genius - duh?" Tony said simply. He rolled his eyes as Bruce continued to stare at him - why are people always so shocked when all he does is press a few buttons and bypass a few lines of code?

"You hacked SHIELD files - _again_?" Bruce asked incredulously. Tony sighed.

"Why are you always so hung up on the details Doc? What we _should_ be talking about is why Red kidnapped you and whisked you away to Russia of all places?" Tony asked leaning forward excitedly. Bruce scoffed.

"Natasha didn't kidnap me - I went with her willingly." Bruce said in defense.

"Like on a date?" Tony asked mischievously. Bruce sputtered.

"No! Nothing like that! We were just visiting some of the people she knew there!"

"So it _was_ a date." Tony said leaning his head against his palms as he stared up at the bewildered doctor.

"You're impossible." He finally managed to sum up the jumble of feelings he was experiencing at the moment.

"Why thank you Brucie - I make it my business to do the impossible." Tony said wagging his eyebrows at the poor doctor.

"How long have you been down here?" Bruce asked ignoring the annoying kissy faces Tony was making with his hands. Tony shrugged.

"Mmm...3 days." Tony said as he got tired of making fun of Bruce when he wasn't reacting. Bruce furrowed his eyebrows at the genius when he felt the amusement drain out of his system and be replaced by a sharp stab of a very different emotion. Tony froze when he noticed Bruce's questioning look.

"You're doing that weird feely thing again aren't you?" Tony asked suspiciously. Bruce winced.

"Not doing it on purpose – just happens." He said trying to ignore the turmoil of emotions that was practically radiating from the billionaire – it wasn't working.

"You take the smelling fear business to a whole new level Doc." Tony said as he picked up the bot he was originally tinkering with and chunked his cell phone across the room. Bruce didn't comment on either.

"Where's Pepper?" He asked instead. Tony shrugged and ducked under his counter to pull out a box of tools.

"Conference." He said nonchalantly. Bruce gave him a look.

"How long?"

"3 days."

"Tony she's not your babysitter." Bruce said cautiously. Tony pulled out a screw driver and opened the back of the little bot – it coughed.

"She's going to be away for another few days. Rodney is still on assignment in the Middle East. You and Red have been gallivanting across the world and the rest of the team is on off time. Forgive me for not socializing with people who are not here." Tony said with a shrug. Bruce finally managed to pick out the strongest emotion Tony was fighting to push down at the moment – the bastard was lonely.

"You're upset." Bruce said in surprise. Tony nearly burned himself as he tinkered with the wires in the robot. He shook his screw driver at the Doctor defiantly.

"No you see _you're_ confused. I'm not upset – I am merely stating a fact." Tony said ignoring Bruce's pointed look.

"It's okay to feel-"

"DON'T SAY IT!" Tony shouted heatedly. The bot in front of him shook in fear as Tony waved the screw driver in his hand. "I don't care if you have a new best friend or whatever she is! But we do not talk about _feelings_ in this lab!" Tony said as he picked up the leaking bot and stomped across the lab. Bruce watched the huffing scientist plop down on a chair with a confused expression on his face.

"Best friend…_what_? Tony you're not making any sense! Natasha and I barely even _know_ each other!" Bruce said bewilderedly. Tony slammed the poor bot down on his surgical table and started rummaging in his toolbox once again.

"First you start skipping important experiment periods and then you're suddenly buddy buddy with the ice queen. Not only that but she somehow manages to get the big guy too? And best part is that she actually takes you _home_ with her! So freaking scandalous!" Tony said viciously shoving some new power cells into the little guy who was tearing up some oily tears from the abuse. Bruce gaped at the engineer.

"First of all – where the _hell_ is this coming from? Second of all – there's _nothing_ there!" Bruce said waving his hands in front of the mechanical surgeon as he determinedly chose not to look at him.

"You give her the _eyes_ man! The eyes!" Tony said shaking his head as he powered up bot and slammed his back door shut. The bot squeaked.

"What eyes? What the heck are you talking about?" Bruce asked in utter confusion. Tony sighed and tapped his screw driver against the Doctor's nose.

"Just don't get hurt – alright?" He said suddenly switched gears. Bruce was even _more_ confused now – talking to Tony was like a constant whiplash between his bi-polar tendencies.

"You seriously need to get some sleep Tony – you make even less sense at 4 am. I'll see you at breakfast." Bruce said with a sigh. There was no point in trying to understand the crazy at such an hour. He turned around and walked out of the lab.

"You'll come crying to me eventually!" Tony shouted after the retreating doctor. He turned back towards his table and stared at his handy work.

"Why are _you_ crying?" Tony asked the trembling bot hiding its face against the table.

Poor little robot.

**Brutasha Brutasha brutasha Brutasha brutasha Brutasha brutasha Brutasha brutasha **

Natasha walked back to her room after a few hours of roaming the Tower and noticed a little package sitting in front of her door. She paused as she stared at the innocent looking white box.

_5 minutes. _

Bruce walked into the Avengers common room and noticed Natasha hovering in front her door with a large object in her hand. He walked over to see what she was doing and sighed. He forgot that exceptional people were exceptionally clueless when it came to social norms.

"Why are you holding a metal detector over the box?" Bruce asked warily.

"It might be rigged with a bomb." She said seriously. He sighed. Clueless.

"It's cheesecake – I don't think it's meant to explode." Bruce said dryly. She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously.

"How do you know that?"

"Because I bought it…from a shop down the street." He said pointing behind him. She stared at him with a confused look.

"Why?"

"Cause it tastes good?" Bruce said with half shrug.

"Why is it in front of my door?" She clarified. He gave her a long look.

"Cause I bought…for you. Don't you like cheesecake?" He asked furrowing his brow suddenly. Maybe he should have thought this through more clearly. He didn't remember saying thank you being _this_ hard.

"I've…never had cheesecake." She said uncertainly. He gaped at her.

"You've never had _cheesecake_?" He asked in disbelief. She shook her head slowly.

"No…never had the opportunity." She said putting the metal detector down and glancing back at the box. Bruce sputtered still in shock.

"Okay that's it! You will eat a slice of this cake and I am going to watch you do it!" He said firmly. That sounded a lot less creepy in his head.

_Cricket…cricket…cricket…_

"Don't comment on that – do you want a take this to the kitchen?" He said taking his hands out of his pockets and gesturing towards the box. She shrugged and stepped to the side as he walked over and picked up the little white box. She followed him cautiously into the kitchen and watched as he prepared a plate for both of them. He handed her a fork and gestured towards the small white triangle sitting in front of her.

"Come on – take a bite!" He insisted. She watched his excitement warily and sighed. He was amused far too easily. She scooped up a small spoon full of cake and placed it in her mouth.

"It tastes like a pie Bruce." She said simply. He gasped.

"What are you talking about? It's more than a pie! It's amazing! It's a piece of heaven!" He said in shock.

"You Americans have weird ideas of what qualifies as amazing." She said with a shake of her head.

**Brutasha Brutasha brutasha Brutasha brutasha Brutasha brutasha Brutasha brutasha **

No Clint bashing here fellow avengers! I love him just as much as these two and he's going to be a big support role for Natasha. But fear not - no love triangle here! And I hope you liked Tony's little spat – poor little bot! Give him some love!


	7. Chapter 7

**One day you have to stop running from the world **

**A/N: It has been a **_**long**_** time guys…but I haven't given up on this fic! It's the holidays and I finally had the time to take a fresh crack at it. Hopefully you're still interested! **

**RECAP of the entire story so far: This is going to be a long one. Natasha and Bruce are starting to slowly figure out what exactly they are to each other at the moment. Are they teammates? Are they friends? Are they something more? They are both in denial about the last one but slowly but surely their relationship is moving towards something more. Bruce hasn't had a real friend in a long time. The Avengers have been the closest thing to family he had at the moment. And even then he was wary of them. But after a disastrous mission gone wrong, saving Natasha's life, running away from SHIELD medical, a crazy jet trip with Natasha Romanoff, wandering the Russian coast, meeting 50 extraordinary little girls who need to be protected from the world and facing the millions of questions from their team – Natasha and Bruce are finally back home at Avengers Tower ready to take on the world. If only they had the courage and the strength to face their past. Natasha has started the process of coming to terms with hers – now it was Bruce's turn. But before they fix their past – they had some new problems to deal with in their present. **

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 7**

It's been several days since Natasha and Bruce have returned from their little trip to Russia. It was a tight secret that was just supposed to stay between them and their team. However the first thing Natasha realized when she walked into SHIELD was that the news of their excursion had somehow spread like a forest fire throughout the organization. Pictures of them were posted all over the building. The rumor mill was going haywire with all the truths mixed with obvious lies. The hulk and the black widow? It was deemed insanity. Their privacy was completely breached and their reputations ruined. It wasn't anyone's _god damn_ business – but Natasha couldn't kill _all_ of the junior agents. She would just seriously maim the initiator. _Within an inch of his life. _

"Where is Tony Stark?" Natasha asked dangerously as she cornered a group of trembling junior agents on the third floor of the SHIELD main base in New York. She had just caught them gossiping about her relationship with the quiet doctor and how they were fraternizing and potentially compromising the most important team in SHIELD.

AS if she would _ever_ let her personal relationships compromise her work.

As if there was any way in _hell_ there was any fraternizing between her and her teammate.

_But did she want that to stay true? _

Natasha growled and angrily shook those thoughts out of her head. Now was not the time to undermine her own authority. She was not going to second guess herself while she was interrogating her suspects.

"Talk!" she demanded as the agents tried to find their voice in the mist of their palpable fear.

"W-w-we don't know! We swear!" the bravest boy in the middle stuttered as he tried to stand his ground while being faced with the glare of death. You needed to be a long term professional agent to withstand one of Natasha's death glares – they pierced right through your soul.

"Was he the one who started spreading these rumors?" she asked clenching her fists at her sides. They all frantically shook their heads.

"N-n-no! It wasn't him! It was-"

"AGENT GUNNER YOU ARE _FIRED_! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? FIRED! GET OUT OF MY _SIGHT_!" they all heard the angry voice of Maria Hill shout from down the hall. Natasha tensed as she looked away from the cowering agents and narrowed her eyes at the commotion happening down the hall.

She had found her target.

She forgot about the junior agents who were about to faint and stalked down the hall towards all the noise.

"But Agent Hill-" Gunner started to say.

SMACK!

The entire hall gasped.

Agent Hill had slapped the frozen agent right across the face with the back of her hand.

"How _dare_ you hack security files of other agents in your _own_ fucking organization?" Maria shouted angrily.

"As if you weren't curious about what those two were doing in Russia either Hill!" Gunner said holding his cheek with a heated look in his eyes.

_Click_. He froze as he felt a cold metal object make contact with the back of his head.

"If I shoot him will I get reprimand?" Natasha asked darkly from behind him. Maria took a deep breath and locked eyes with one of her best agents.

"I want to say no _so_ badly…" she said through gritted teeth. What the bastard did was unforgivable. In 2 days he had undermined everything SHEILD stood for. But she could never authorize such an act. Natasha gripped the gun in her hand tighter. The tension in the hall had skyrocketed in the last 3 seconds. Nobody said a word.

"Natasha?" someone said anxiously from behind her. Natasha froze as she recognized the voice.

"What are you doing…?" Bruce asked as he slowly walked into her line of sight. She clenched her jaw. She could kill Gunner and deal with the consequences. Or she could let the bastard live and let SHIELD deal with him.

She locked eyes with the only man in the entire world she couldn't understand. Clint never confused her this much. Clint was _exactly_ like her. Too much like her. Bruce's eyes were cautious but not judging. Why the _hell_ was he not judging her?

"Natasha?" Bruce asked again as they continued their intense staring match. His shoulders loosened when she finally looked away.

She dropped her hand with the gun in it and stalked away from the tense scene.

Gunner slowly fell to his knees as he stared at his hands trembling in front of him.

If Bruce Banner hadn't shown up – he would've been dead right now.

Bruce slowly backed away from the staring crowd and turned to follow the fuming Russian agent stalking down the hall behind him. He didn't know what was wrong. He didn't even know why things defused so fast when he got there. But even he knew no one should be alone after a confrontation like that.

"Natasha? Natasha where did you go?" he called out as he lost sight of her as she promptly disappeared around the corner. Russian spies were not easy to find when they didn't want to be found.

Natasha stomped into an empty training room and slammed the door shut behind her. She needed to calm down. She needed to get some freaking control back. She stared at the gun in her shaking hand and swore in Russian.

Natasha angrily threw the gun into the wall in front of her and watched it shatter into a million pieces. She back up and hit the wall on the other side of the room and slowly slide down the wall in the corner of the silent room. How did she nearly lose her control like that? Why was she slipping again?

"Natasha!" she heard a familiar voice shout down the hall.

Natasha covered her ears and tightly shut her eyes. She didn't want to talk to him right now. She didn't want to look at his eyes right now. She didn't want him to see her like this right now.

"Just go away Bruce. Just go away," she whispered with her eyes still closed.

"Natasha seriously where are y-" Bruce froze as he ran into the room and stared at the scene in front of him. He slowly shut the door behind him and cautiously approached the slightly shaking Russian agent.

"Natasha…are you okay?" he asked slowly. Natasha tensed without looking up from her crouched position.

"Stop saying my name like that!" she growled. He froze.

"Like what?" he asked in confusion. She lifted her head and glared at him fiercely.

"Like you're actually worried about me!" she spat. Bruce flinched at the venom in her voice.

"I _am_ worried Natasha…" he said carefully as he watched her hands clench into tight fists – they were still shaking.

"Why? You don't even _know_ me," she muttered angrily looking away. Bruce gave her a soft look.

"I was starting to get to know you," he said quietly. She tensed and shut her eyes again.

"Go away Bruce – I-I can't – you don't know how I'm feeling right now," she said tiredly as the anger finally started draining out of her system and was replaced with a wave of exhaustion. He felt all of it.

He laughed humorlessly and shook his head.

"That's not quite true Natasha. I know _exactly_ how you are feeling," he said carefully. She froze – _oh shit._

"I felt your simmering anger 10 minutes ago when you were talking to someone. I didn't think it was much to worry about because it was very controlled and a very organized type of anger. You were using it to channel something. But then…then you just exploded Natasha. It nearly knocked me out completely. It was like this blinding type of rage that burned right through my brain. And then it was overwhelmed by this intense darkness that came out of nowhere. I don't even know how to describe it. It was…it was unbelievable," he said slowly coming to realize just how shocking her explosion of emotions really was.

"I'm sorry you had to feel that," she said expressionlessly staring at her hands. She should have had a better latch on her emotions. Now her loss of control was hurting people who weren't even in the same room as her? Bruce gave the distant agent a cautious look. It wasn't just about feeling her intense emotions.

"Natasha…if _I_ ever got that angry? I would've Hulked out a long time ago. I nearly did today," he whispered guardedly. She quickly glanced up at him and noticed the restrained stress at the corner of his eyes and the fear swirling around his steady gaze.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. He gave her a weak smile.

"It's okay," he whispered back.

"Did he really want to come out?" she asked staring at him with curiosity mixed with fear swirling in her eyes. He gave her a reassuring smile and shook his head.

"No – he was just _really_ annoyed that someone could cause that much havoc in his environment without him there," he whispered with a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth. She snorted.

"You and your other guy are _weird_ Banner," she said shaking her head in disbelief. Now it was his turn to snort.

"_We're_ weird? How about the girl who has emotions buried so deep inside of her that they had time to build up enough to explode and allow me to feel it from the other side of the _building?_" he asked incredulously. She froze.

"Where _were_ you?" she asked in shock. She didn't even know he was in SHIELD today.

"I was on the first floor Natasha. You have the most intense emotions I have ever felt in my _life_," he said shaking his head still slightly amazed. She froze.

"No one has ever said I have intense emotions. Most people say I don't have any at all," she whispered.

"Most people don't have a direct link to the general empathic atmosphere around them Natasha," he said quietly. "Most people are also idiots. Even without feeling your emotions I knew you felt things deeply Natasha," he said giving her a knowing look. She looked away from his truthful eyes. It was too much to take in at the moment – so she changed the subject before they started treading a topic she wasn't ready for.

"How did Gunner even get a whiff of where we were Bruce? Who told him?" she asked guardedly. Bruce heard her unspoken accusations loud and clear.

He tensed.

"It wasn't Tony. Tony would _never_ start this. No matter how much he likes to piss us off Natasha – he would never do something like this," Bruce said firmly. He never defended the idiot after one of his stupid pranks backfired on him – but for this Bruce would defend Tony to the end. He still had faith in Tony's ability to be a good friend above all else. Natasha stared at him dead in the eye.

"Are you sure?" she said steadily. He nodded.

"Dead sure," he said seriously. She sighed and looked away from his intense eyes.

"Now what are we going to do Bruce?" she asked tiredly. She's never had to face these types of rumors before. She's never been accused of being severely compromised before. Even while she was with Clint – no one even noticed. No one cared.

Why did they all suddenly freak out when it was the doctor who might suddenly be the object of her affections? Especially because it was all _lies_. Bruce and Natasha were barely starting their rocky friendship and then _this_ hits them in the face?

The world was full of hypocrites.

.

.

.

.

.

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**A/N: I hope that makes up for the long, long, loooong wait! Let me know if anyone is still interested in the story and I'll continue it. Thank you for reading! **


	8. Chapter 8

**One day you have to stop running from the world **

**A/N: I was having way too much fun cooking this up last night…even though only a couple people are still interested…LOL**

**Chapter 8 **

Steve and Clint both sat on a park bench as they watched the countless sugar high children race around the green field and zigzag through the trees scattered throughout the park. They haven't talked for a while but after being on a team for so long they only ever said the things that mattered.

"Aren't you sad that you lost her?" Steve asked quietly from beside him. Clint smiled softly and shook his head.

"No," he said honestly. Steve furrowed his brow.

"But I thought you loved her?" he asked still not understanding how he could be okay with all of this. Clint stared at a little box in his hands with a faraway look on his face. It's been a long time since he's looked inside this box.

"Do you believe in multiple universes Steve?" he asked quietly. Steve paused.

"I don't know - do you?" he asked slowly. The corner of Clint's mouth twitched.

"If there _are_ multiple universes out there - then I'm sure I got Natasha Romanoff in most of them. Bruce Banner deserves to get her at least once," he said softly. Steve stared at the quiet man in amazement.

"I could never be that kind Clint," he said looking away from his contemplative face. Barton was something special. This was a feat too great for even Captain America. Clint shook his head slowly.

"It's not about kindness. It's about letting the girl you love go when for once she may be happier with someone else," he whispered softly. Steve glanced at the strong man beside him. He was proud to be able to call him his friend.

"You are a good man Clint Barton," Steve said quietly. Clint laughed softly.

"You're a cheesy one," he said shaking his head. Steve went bright red.

"Now you made me regret it," Steve muttered beside the grinning archer. "Why are you smiling like that?" Steve asked incredulously. Clint shook his head and continued to smile weakly.

No one ever knew that Clint always smiled through the pain.

**Brutasha. Brutasha. Brutasha. Brutasha. Brutasha. Brutasha. Brutasha.**

Tony and Bruce stared at each other both with matching determined looks on their faces.

"Did you do it?" Bruce asked dangerously. So much for having faith in your friends.

"No," Tony said firmly.

"Are you sure?" Bruce asked narrowing his eyes. Tony huffed.

"Yes I am damn sure I didn't sell out my best friend," Tony said sounding highly insulted. Bruce never used his unintentional empathetic abilities against people – but for once he was paying attention to how honest Tony was actually being. All he felt was anger and a small amount of hurt. Bruce sighed in relief. He didn't betray him and Natasha.

"Then who did?" he asked slowly.

"No one – Gunner got the info by bugging your jet," Tony said holding up a banged up circuit board in his hand. Bruce furrowed his brow.

"I don't understand. How did he know which one to bug and why would he think anything was between us _before_ we went to Russia?" Bruce asked cautiously. Tony pulled out his tablet and passed it to Bruce. Bruce looked down at the pages of background checks and medical information on Gunner.

"He was unstable as hell before he got kicked out of SHIELD. We have no idea how he passed his medical examinations. To top it all off? He had a major obsession with Red…like _freaky_ obsession…" Tony said carefully as he watched the emotions play across the doctor's face. Bruce tensed – maybe they should have let her shoot him after all.

"Where is he?" Bruce asked darkly. Tony took the tablet back and firmly grasped Bruce by the shoulders.

"I'm telling you the truth because you are my friend Bruce. But I will _not_ let you throw away everything you've built for yourself in SHIELD over the last couple of months understand? Do not go looking for revenge. We are not _revengers_. We are _A-vengers._ Natasha doesn't need it either way. She can take care of herself and even if she couldn't she's not in danger. This bastard is in high security lock down at the moment. No one wants a man that unstable roaming around when he has repeatedly broken into SHIELD files and abused the information he found," Tony said firmly.

"You do that all the time," Bruce said quietly.

"I am also a _sane_ someone who SHIELD would have a _very_ hard time dealing with if I ever turned against them," Tony said seriously. He was not even joking.

"I can't just sit around and not do anything about this Tony – it's all over the base. It's not going to go away for a long time," Bruce said clenching his fists at his sides.

Tony smiled slowly.

"Just because we don't get to take a punch at Gunner doesn't mean we can't deal with the rest of the annoying SHIELD population…" Tony said mischievously. Bruce paused – usually this is where he says no way in hell…but…

"For once…I am all for it…" Bruce said steadily. The grin on Tony's face exploded into a full out smile.

"Yes! Finally we can be evil scientists together Bruce!" Tony said with an evil cackle.

"Tony…" Bruce said warily.

"Yeah Bruce?" Tony said with the evil grin still plastered across his face.

"Too much diabolical laughter," Bruce said frankly. Tony sighed.

"Get out the door Bruce," he said pointing at the door behind him.

_5 minutes later. _

"What do we got?" Bruce said staring at his best friend in anticipation. He may appear extremely calm - but that was always a necessary facade. He was actually unbelievably _pissed_ at all those agents who caused Natasha to explode like that.

"Well Barton and Romanoff should be leaving for their mission any minute now. Then we have 5 hours to start our SHIELD crackdown. Let's do some organized damage Bruce," Tony said hooking up his laptop to the SHIELD mainframe in an office not too far from the SHIELD cafeteria…the congregating grounds of all gossiping SHIELD agents that ever lived.

"Why do I have this feeling this is all going to go horribly wrong…?" Bruce said warily as he stood beside his plotting best friend.

**brutasha brutasha brutasha brutasha brutasha **

"Fury's sending us on a mission Tasha," Clint said walking into her room with his nose in a folder.

"_Now_?" she asked in disbelief. He looked up from the details and shrugged.

"Evil doesn't wait to give us a break right?" he said raising an eyebrow. Natasha sighed. Stupid SHIELD always working their agents into the ground.

"Okay fine. Where are we going Clint?" she asked tiredly. It wasn't like she really wanted to stick around _here_ at the moment.

"We're going to Vegas to bust some drug lords that have SHIELD level weapons. We are supposed to find out the _how_," he said still reading the details of their mission from the file in his hand.

"Sounds like fun," she said dryly. Clint paused as he listened to her sarcastic tone. Natasha was never the sarcastic type.

He gave her a funny look.

"What?" she asked in confusion. He shook his head.

"Nothing - you just sound different," he said passing her a gun. She took it slowly and stuffed it in her belt.

"How do I sound different?" she asked furrowing her brow. He shrugged - it wasn't that important.

"I didn't say it was a bad thing," he said vaguely. She narrowed her eyes at the ambiguous archer.

"Clint Barton you better tell me what the hell you're talking about," Natasha said threateningly. He rolled his eyes. As if she could threaten him after 10 years of a partnership.

"It's nothing - I just think you sound...happier," he said with an odd look on his face. She gaped at him. Honestly gaped at him. Did he not know about the rumors at the moment?

"Do I _look_ happy to you?" she exclaimed throwing her hands up in the air and stalking away to find her knives. Ugh. _Men_.

_Ring. Ring. _

"What do you people want from me?" she shouted into her phone. She froze as she listened to the voice at the other end of the line. Clint had the _strange_ feeling he knew who it was.

"Don't call me every time you feel my empathetic line fluctuate Banner. I am allowed to feel a range of emotions. It's inconvenient and board line stalkerish," she said heatedly. She rolled her eyes as she listened to his defensive response.

"Yes I know it's not your fault - if I could stop it with medication or something I'd put you on those meds," she said firmly. Clint snorted - oh dear god she was crazy.

"What do you mean Stark just blew up half of the SHIELD cafeteria?" she shouted in disbelief. "How is any of this _my_ fault?" she asked incredulously. Clint smiled as he leaned against the wall beside her.

"You look loads happier Tasha," he whispered as he watched her continue to argue with a certain doctor at the other end of the line.

"I will shoot both of you within an inch of your lives! No, I don't care that bullets don't work on you - I'll _make_ them work!" she said threateningly. They were going to be just fine Clint thought silently.

**A/N: Haha Tony and Bruce's plan backfired – as Tony's plans usual do. But it was the thought that counts right? And aww I love Clint. Totally sidelined him …but I still love him. Let me know what you guys think? **


	9. Chapter 9

**One day you have to stop running from the world **

**A/N: Okay…so this chapter is sort of insane…..sorry. It's not too bad because it's only Tony talking…but…ah…it's not a risk you should be willing to take ever again. **

**MORAL OF THIS CHAPTER: Do not give Tony Stark a mike. **

**Chapter 9 **

After completing their mission in Vegas and beating the crap out of 3 drug lords Natasha and Clint were back at SHIELD.

And the silence that followed them was deadly suspicious. Usually there were always whispers that followed Natasha everywhere she went – especially during the last few days because of the rumors about her and Bruce.

"Clint...what happened while we were on our mission…?" she asked slowly. He shook his head.

"I don't know Natasha – but I have this feeling we're about to find out…" he said warily as they approached the crowd that was huddled around the entrance to the SHIELD cafeteria.

The door swung open the reveal the severely packed cafeteria with two Avengers standing on a makeshift podium in the center of the room. Bruce was holding a stack of papers while Tony had a mike (who the hell would give him a mike?) and he was reading off each of the cards one by one.

"…and Agent Jones had a freaking 3 _week_ liaison with Agent Crystalline during their away mission to Kentucky. Last winter. With the chickens. Why did we write that Bruce?" Tony paused in his list of dirty secrets and glanced at his partner in crime. Bruce shrugged. He didn't know what the hell they were doing during the time Tony was hacking into the systems and found this information.

"Whatever. Agent Taylor has a fetish … _for cabbages and bagels?_ What do you do with – you know what? I'm not going to ask. Agent Carlos was the crossdresser who flashed everyone at the Christmas party last year…oh shit…Fury is going to kill you Carlos. Run," Tony said looking up from his cards and they all watched agent Carlos hightail it out of the cafeteria and dive out a 2 story window. At least we knew SHIELD agents were creative.

"Okay…back to the list. Agent Mendel did it with a bunch farm animals behind…oh dear god the SHIELD garbage dump? What the heck Mendel? Anyway. Agent Martinez disappeared to Madagascar and - okay that is _censored_ shit. I am doing you all a _favor_ by not telling you what he did. Martinez if you're listening you better keep your trap shut about _any_ rumors you may ever hear. Seriously. This is disgusting," Tony said pointing at the paper in front of him. Bruce rolled his eyes. He was honestly shocked by the amount of shit Tony found about every single agent in SHIELD. _Every single last one._

"Agent Mode you and your pet kangaroo – alright I've had enough! What is it with you people whose name starts with the letter M and abusing animals? Give me the female pile Bruce," Tony demanded as he tossed the letter M's onto the ground. Bruce passed his best friend the pile with a lot more writing on it.

"Alright let's see. Agent White and agent Hill…damn. I respect you girls. You were the ones who let loose an army of scorpions at Agent Ross's bachelor party to get back at his security team for crashing your marksmanship competition? When was this? Why wasn't I invited? This is brilliant. Agent Jamie you were the one who stuck the invisible fireworks on Fury's comfy chair? Are you serious? I WANTED TO DO THAT! Damn we need to collaborate some time. Call me," Tony said pointing at the red face girl sitting in the crowd. Many people were red faced at the moment.

"And now for our real announcement today and our reason for hijacking your organization. Say it Bruce. Say it loud. Say it proud," Tony said handing Bruce the mike. Bruce slowly brought the mike to his face and took a deep breath. He would never do something like this in a million years if it wasn't because of the man standing beside him. He looked out into the crowd and froze as his eyes instantly locked with the shocked ones of Natasha Romanoff. He wasn't able to pick out her utter shock – because frankly everyone was feeling the same thing at the moment. He sort of missed being able to feel her emotions separate from everyone else.

"Natasha…Natasha and I aren't together. But even if we were, even if we are, even if one day we ever _do_ get together – it's no one's god damn business except our own!_"_ he ended heatedly. Clint whistled quietly. He had to hand it to the Doc. He had balls. Balls of steel. And an insane best friend.

Silence.

The doctor has spoken.

Tony promptly took the microphone back and resumed his previous actions.

"And to top it all off I have _evidence_, EVIDENCE OF NICK FURY -" Tony started to say but Bruce promptly slammed his hand over Tony's mouth and ripped the slip of paper into a million pieces.

"WE ARE NOT GETTING FIRED FOR THIS YOU HEAR ME?" Bruce shouted at the depressed looking genius.

"Fine," Tony muttered. He still had one more thing left to say.

"Then the last thing we will leave you with is the god honest truth. Steve Rogers is _still_ a virgin. He has no dirt. He has got nothing on him. He is the only one allow in this godforsaken organization to say ANYTHING about ANYONE! UNDERSTOOD? SO THERE! NOW EVERYONE HAS DIRT ON EVERY SINGLE OTHER AGENT IN THIS ORGANIZATION! NO ONE IS INNOCENT! SO LEAVE US THE HELL ALONE! Thank you for your time," Tony finished with a dramatic bow. He promptly picked up the pile of cards, grabbed Bruce by the scruff of his collar and ran out the back door.

Everyone blinked.

Natasha and Clint slowly backed away from the doorway and quickly slipped out of the hall before anyone realized who they were.

"Natasha…" he said slowly as they put as much distance between them and the rest of the angry agents who were simply in shock at the moment. This was about to start a war.

"Clint…" she said sounding equally disturbed. They took one look at each other - and burst out laughing.

"THAT WAS INSANE!" Clint gasped as he leaned against the wall of the staircase. Natasha nearly had tears coming out of her eyes. She hasn't cried in years!

"Was that even all Stark?" she asked shaking her head and replaying the evil look she saw in Bruce's eyes. She's never seen the mischievous side of him before. Why was that? He looked years younger when he had that odd gleam in his eyes.

"Oh god no. Stark definitely needed help to pull _that_ off. What I don't understand is how on earth did they bank enough time to get through every single agent in SHIELD without Fury coming down here to kick their ass?" Clint asked in amazement. Natasha calmed down enough to actually consider that for a second.

"…If Fury wasn't at that massive rumor show – where was he…?" she asked cautiously.

The two partners froze as they heard a rumble in the floor above them.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

"RUN BRUCE! RUN FASTER!" Tony's voice was heard from the top floor as they both burst into the staircase and started flying down the stairs with hundreds of bullets flying over their heads.

"THIS IS THE LAST TIME I EVER DO A PRANK WITH YOU AGAIN!" Bruce shrieked as he ducked as a _machine_ _gun_ started firing at them.

"HOW DARE YOU LOCK ME IN A CLOSET AND HIJACK MY ORGANIZATION FOR A PRANK!" Fury screamed as he ran after them.

Clint and Natasha shared a wary look.

"The current object of your affections and his best friend are going to be the death of the Avengers. Mark my words Tasha," he said before he shot down the stairs and bolted out the front door.

"THE OBJECT OF WHAT?" she shouted as she ran after him. He always ran away after he pissed her off.

"NEVER AGAIN TONY! NEVER AGAIN!" Bruce yelled with promise.

"Ah the sound of love," Tony said with an accomplished look on his face.

BANG! A bullet grazed the edge of his head and burned a path right through his hair.

"I _will_ kill you if it is the last thing I do," Fury whispered dangerously from right behind the frozen genius.

Tony was going to run like hell if it was the last thing _he_ did.

**A/N: And that is why Bruce never joins in on one of Tony Stark's pranks. Ah. Hope you like some of my humor work. It will calm down for the rest of the story. Don't worry. Serious Brutasha coming in the next chapter. They had to shut up the rumors somehow right? **


	10. Chapter 10

**One day you have to stop running from the world **

**A/N: So we are on a roll here guys! **

**Chapter 10**

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Bruce winced as he held a bag of frozen peas to his bruised cheek as he and Tony leaned against the wall of the SHIELD containment cell. They got beat up bad before they were thrown in here.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

"Make it stop..." Tony groaned as the annoying tapping was starting to give him a headache. He was already black and blue from going several rounds with the security team.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

"Give me _one_ good reason to bail you two out," Natasha hissed standing in front of their prison cell. She did _not_ looking happy. In fact she had her arms crossed across her chest and an irritated look on her face. They were _all_ on probation now. The entire team had to pay for their stupid prank.

"We made the rumors stop?" Tony tried pitifully. Her glare darkened.

"You just started a _war. _Agent Hill is still trying to stop certain agents from killing each other. When they all ganged up on her because of the scorpion incident it was tasers all around. The idiots didn't remember that she is the second in command for a _reason_. Half of our agents are in SHIELD medical now. What do you have to say for yourselves?" she said dangerously. Bruce paled while Tony frantically searched for something to say.

"Ah...they can't handle the truth?" Tony tried feebly. An ice cold wind smacked him right in the face. There were no windows in the SHIELD prison room. Natasha narrowed her eyes.

"Bruce! Quick! Do your feely thing! Is she really mad at us?" Tony asked desperately looking at his regretful partner in crime. Bruce scowled at him.

"I'm not a _dog_! And I don't control the stupid empathy thing!" he growled at his desperate friend. He would never tell Tony that she was feeling mixed emotions of gratefulness, relief and some expected annoyance probably because of the reprimand they were all forced to suffer through.

He locked eyes with her and knew that she understood what he was seeing.

"Fury said I could only let you out on one condition," Natasha said still staring at Bruce. Tony started to feel extremely left out. They were communicating through the weird stares again. He _told_ Bruce he gave her the eyes. No one listens to him.

"And what is that?" Bruce asked slowly. She gave him a wary smile.

"That he doesn't see either of your faces on SHIELD property for the next week. Unless the world is about to end – he doesn't want to hear a peep," Natasha said rolling her eyes. Tony and Bruce both sighed in relief.

"Wait why is he being so nice?" Tony asked suspiciously. Natasha raised an eyebrow.

"You call being chased around the base with bullets on your heels, being beaten up by over 50 SHIELD agents and then being thrown into a holding cell _nice_?" she asked in disbelief. Tony paused.

"Touché," he amended.

_Click_. Natasha unlocked the prison door and it swung open to reveal freedom.

"I'm freeeeeeee!" Tony exclaimed as he quickly crawled out of the prison. Natasha and Bruce shared an unimpressed look.

"You're best friend is weird," she said frankly. He shrugged.

"No I think he's just psychotic," he said simply. Tony gaped at them.

"Did you ever get him checked out by a psychologist?" she asked raising an eyebrow. He shook his head.

"No but it's on my important things to do list," he said gravely. Tony froze – did they just forget about him?

"I think they'd drug him and stick him in a mental institution," she said with a fake regretful sigh. Bruce had a hard time covering up his snort.

"Tony Stark would require an entire institution for himself to be cured of his insanity," he said as they shared a grim look.

"I'M STILL HERE GUYS!" Tony exclaimed in disbelief. How could they just have a whole conversation about Tony Stark…without consulting Tony Stark?

"Does he have rabies?" she asked dryly. Bruce actually took a second to pretend to think about it. Tony's mouth fell open in shock.

"I'm not sure," Bruce said slowly with a mischievous look that she saw earlier today. She felt a tiny grin spread across her own face.

Tony paled.

"I HATE NEEDLES!" he shouted as he ran out of the holding cell room like the fires of hell were licking at his heels. Natasha and Bruce both rolled their eyes.

"Over-dramatic bastard," he said shaking his head. She chuckled lightly and handed him a bottle of water as she inspected his injuries. Someone would eventually have to track down the annoying genius and do the same for him.

"Don't worry about it – I heal pretty fast," he said as he watched her push his hair away from his forehead to reveal some nasty scars that would probably fade by tonight – but he was still covered in his own blood.

"You heal _ugly_," she said scrunching up her nose in distaste.

He nearly spat out his water when he heard her. She was _too_ straightforward sometimes.

"What?" he asked as he coughed up the water that went down the wrong pipe. She shook her head at him.

"Damn Bruce – you're a doctor. If you didn't have radioactive blood that already kills every bacteria and germ imaginable – half of your wounds would've been infected a _while_ ago…" she said in shock as she examined his older scars. He blinked and suddenly become very aware of how close she actually was. He also realized that she was the first person to realize that small detail in the big mess of his life in a _long_ time. The feeling of her fingers brushing against his forehead suddenly felt less clinical and much, _much_ more intimate. A shiver instantly went up his spin. The other guy shifted in curiosity at the sudden change in Bruce's body. The realization that Natasha Romanoff was starting to feel like a constant in his life scared the _shit_ out of him.

She stopped moving when she felt him freeze in place.

"Sorry am I making you uncomfortable?" she said taking a quick step back. He shook his head slowly. Was she?

"No, not exactly…it's just…ah…" he tried to find the right way to explain exactly what was wrong. It wasn't happening any time soon.

"No one has really taken the time to fix _me_ up in a while," he finally said with a wince. It was half of the truth. He didn't even understand the other half yet. She gave him a cautious look.

"You always skip the medic's checkup after missions don't you?" she said thinking back to all the Avengers missions where Tony, her and Clint were always the first to be swarmed. It took ages to get out of their clutches – she never noticed where he went while the 3of them were mobbed by medical personnel.

"There are other people who need the medical attention more than me," he said looking away. Her eyes softened.

"You're not invincible Bruce," she said softly. He gave her a crooked smile.

"You'd be surprised by how much damage I could actually take," he said with a distant look in his eyes. She didn't think she would like what he was thinking about.

"I wasn't just talking about physical invincibility," she said staring at him with concern swirling in her eyes. He didn't need to look at her to know she was starting to worry against her will. He could feel the worry creeping up on her and her will trying to shove it down and kill it silently.

He shook himself out of his thoughts. He spends too much time mulling over Natasha's private emotions. It wasn't healthy.

"_No_ one is emotionally invincible Natasha," he said giving her a knowing look. She nodded absently.

"I know," she whispered.

"What would life be like without them?" he asked quietly. She paused.

"It wouldn't be a life worth living…" she said turning away from him and clenching a damp rag in her hand. He noticed the sudden change in her demeanor. He had hit a soft spot.

"How long did you live a life like that Natasha?" he asked carefully. She tensed.

"Too long," she said through gritted teeth. He sighed heavily when he felt a wall go up and all her emotions came to a grinding halt.

The black widow was here.

"I have to go Banner. I'll see you later," she said expressionlessly as she stepped away from the table he was leaning against and quickly left the room without glancing back.

"So _that's_ what running away from yourself looks like," he said staring after the retreating form of the only Russian spy he ever met.

"I guess you're right Tony – it does make us look like cowards," he said with a sigh. Life was too hard, too long and too harsh not to force you into running away every now and then.

He wondered when he would finally stop running himself.

**A/N: Bruce is starting to notice things about Natasha – but she is still completely closed off. What would it take to get her to at least realize Bruce was different from all the other men in her life? **


	11. Chapter 11

**One day you have to stop running from the world **

**A/N: Slowly but surely we move forward.  
**

**Chapter 11 **

Natasha stood frozen to the ground as she watched image after image play across a screen in front of her. It was unbelievable. She was watching Bruce transform into hulk right before her eyes – and then he continued to act like Bruce through the rest of the video. She knew him well enough now to pick out certain characteristics in the other guy. The way he scrutinized the environment he was in, the way he paused before he made a split decision and even the way he stared at something that caught his attention. It all screamed Bruce Banner. But what amazed her the most was that the Hulk saved _her_. He completely took the brunt of the fall and protected her from the flaming debris around them. He didn't even _know_ her back then. Why would the Hulk actively protect her then?

"You finally looked up the security footage I told you to right?" someone said quietly from behind her. She nodded silently without taking her eyes off the screen for a second. It was terrifyingly captivating.

"It's…it's a bit hard to take in…" she said still stunned. Clint walked into her line of sight and leaned against the desk in front of her. They both watched the Hulk pick himself and an unconscious Natasha off the ground and carry her through the fire and thick dust that covered every inch of the area around the burning building. He carried her a safe distance away from the flames before he laid her on the ground and quickly transformed back into an exhausted and practically semi-conscious Bruce Banner. He could barely keep himself upright but he stayed awake until she eventually woke up several minutes later. Then Natasha saw something interesting. The moment before she woke up in the video Bruce's entire demeanor changed. He went from looking half dead to a confident and strong partner patiently waiting for his fallen partner to wake up. He was _acting_. He was faking the calm and collected image he always seems to ooze. Bruce Banner _lied_ to her so that she wouldn't worry about him while she was the one in the most danger at the moment.

"Do you see why my opinion of Banner has changed so drastically Tasha?" he asked quietly. She nodded absently. It was hard not to after something like that.

"Actions speak louder than words Tasha. They always will," he said glancing back at the screen as it replayed the entire scene again. This was SHIELD's proof to all the other intelligence organizations in the world that the Hulk was not simply a killing machine. That he could understand and protect his teammates as easily as he can destroy the enemy.

"But he wasn't always like this. He's changed," she said quietly. She remembered the Hulk incident from the Loki mission more vividly than any other moment in her life.

"The Hulk has done some growing up along with the Doc," he said quietly.

"Everyone was forced to grow up a bit more because of that," she said in a faraway voice.

"How about you Tasha?" he asked carefully. She finally tore her eyes away from the screen and gave him a wary look.

"I had to grow up a long time ago Clint," she said softly. He nodded and they both got lost in their own thoughts for a few moments.

"Do you ever wish you had a different childhood?" he asked suddenly. She paused as she thought about his question for a moment.

"No," she said looking up at him. He furrowed his brow.

"Why not?" he asked curiously.

"Because you are the sum of all your past experiences. Without that childhood…I may still be Natasha Romanoff – but I wouldn't be exactly like the Natasha you know right now. I would be different. I may not like that different Natasha…" she said as she reached over and paused the video on the screen at the part where Bruce was staring at her with worried eyes. Not many people take the time to worry about Natasha Romanoff.

"Even if you didn't have an ideal past…I think you deserve a happier future," he said giving her a soft look. She sighed as she looked away.

"You're _biased_," she said simply. He shrugged. It was the truth.

"So?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"So your opinion doesn't count," she said shaking her head. He paused.

"Why does the opinion of people who don't know you matter more than the people that do?" he asked slowly. She took a deep breath and looked up at his searching gaze.

"Because there are more of them then there are of you," she said quietly. He gave her a blank look.

"You have _shit_ philosophy," he said frankly. She flushed.

"Go away Clint," she said shaking her head at the annoying archer.

"Fine – you're depressing me anyway," Clint said pointedly looking away from her as he pushed himself off the desk.

"Stop being so dramatic," she muttered.

"Says the girl who wields a gun like a magic wand and terrifies the masses of junior agents for fun," he shouted over his shoulder as he walked towards the exit. She sighed – he would never leave without having the last word.

"Bye Clint," she said absently as she glanced back at the frozen image of Bruce Banner on the screen in front of her.

He smiled warily at the door in front of him.

"Bye Tasha," he whispered as he silently slipped out of the room.

**Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha **

The next day Natasha had somehow found herself in front of Bruce's lab…again. The indecisiveness was back. She didn't know what to say to him after watching that footage.

"You know by now you should just go in right?" someone said from behind her. She spun around and came face to face with an amused looking Bruce Banner with his hands in his pockets. He had too much fun sometimes watching her emotional process of making decisions. In missions she didn't use emotions at all to make life saving decisions. But on off time – she took a hell of a long time.

"It's still your private space…" she said uncertainly. Bruce gave her a kind look.

"It is – but I don't mind," he said as he pushed open the door and gestured with his head for her to go in. She walked passed him with an air of nervousness that quickly melted into determination. Bruce smiled softly. He didn't think he could understand Natasha Romanoff half as well if she wasn't so expressive with her emotions. She was a master at hiding what she was feeling from her face - sometimes too good.

But inside she was messed up just like everyone else. It was amazing. She amazed him.

"What?" she said as she noticed the odd look on his face.

"Nothing," he said shaking his head. She gave him a weird look.

"_Men_," she muttered as she sat down at the edge of the bench beside his desk. They were all the same.

"You've just insulted all of mankind with your disgusted tone," he chuckled as he took a seat in his well-worn chair and looked around for something to write with.

"Yeah? Well deal with it. Some men are beyond help," she said irritably. He laughed. Not because she was being particularly funny but because she was so worried she was invading his personal space that she was becoming defensive. Man he could've prevented so many slaps in the face in his college days if he could read girls half as well as he was starting to read her.

"Hey Nat do you remember where I put my notes the last time we were here…?" he asked offhandedly.

_Thump_. He looked up warily as he watched her bang her head against the table. Why was she doing that…?

"What is it with the men in my life and shortening my name?" she muttered to herself.

"It can't be _all_ the men in your life – most of the people in your life are men actually…" Bruce said furrowing his brow trying to think of the few women they actually knew in their field. Natasha groaned.

"I need to make more female friends…" she muttered irritably.

"I have this strange feeling you don't mix very well with females…" Bruce said warily. Her mouth fell open in shock.

"Are you calling me a _man_?" she exclaimed in disbelief. He gave her a weird look.

"No…I'm just saying that most girls don't like guns, don't have highly specific assassin training like you do and don't like to beat junior agents into the ground during their combat training…_for fun_," he said steadily. Natasha went beat red.

"I-I-I wear dresses!" she said defensively. He gave her a blank look.

"You _hate_ dresses," he said frankly.

"No I don't!" she denied.

"You complain about their ineffectiveness and how they get in your way when fighting every single time we have to do an undercover mission," he pointed out.

"Well…I like doing my hair and makeup!" she tried again. His glasses nearly fell off his flat faced expression.

"You cut your hair to an insane shortness and wear minimal make up," he shot back. Natasha's determination wavered – he was too much!

"How do _you_ know I wear minimal make up? How do you know what girl makeup is anyway?" she asked incredulously. Now she was just being desperate.

"I can _read_ – it's a superpower based on how rare it is," he said dryly. She paused. What the heck does he read in his free time?

"Well I – I can _bake_!" she said as a last resort.

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" they heard someone laugh hysterically as they walked past Bruce's lab. Natasha narrowed her eyes.

"SHUT UP BARTON! I DIDN'T KNOW SALT WAS LIFE THREATENING AT SUCH HIGH CONCENTRATIONS!" she shouted going beat red. Clint poked his head into the lab and pointed his half eaten banana at her.

"Tasha. 12 hours. Hospital. Couldn't eat solids for a week," he said with a blank face. Natasha's face got even redder.

"Why did you eat it then?" she mumbled touchily. Clint gave her a soft look.

"Because _you_ made it. Don't worry – Bruce will eat your killer pastries too. No matter how much he'll complain behind your back," Clint said with an evil glint in his eyes. Bruce looked ready to faint and utterly betrayed.

"I give up! I have been reduced to a man – whatever. I resign to my fate," she groaned banging her head on the table once and for all. Bruce awkwardly patted her on the back. Poor girl. Identity crisis.

"It's okay Natasha – you have fewer expectations as a man," he said sympathetically.

Clint gave the two Avengers a weird look. Where the heck did this start?

"MY MINI BANANAS! I WAS GROWING THEM FOR AGES!" they all heard the hysterical voice of Steve Rogers cry from down hall. Clint promptly shoved the second half of the banana into his mouth and dashed out the door.

"Goodbye my fellow gentlemen!" he shouted over his shoulder before he rounded the corner and disappeared. Natasha and Bruce stared after the fleeing archer with matching unimpressed looks.

"Does being able to dance count?" Natasha said still staring after the childish man.

"Do you actually like it?" he asked raising an eyebrow. Her conflicted look was a dead giveaway.

"Stop trying Natasha – it hurts to watch," Bruce said shaking his head as he resumed his search for his notebook. Natasha slumped into her seat as she crossed her arms and watched him turn the lab upside down trying to find his research work.

"Did you try looking in your drawer?" she muttered grumpily. He paused and pulled open the side drawer on his desk and stared at the simple notebook lying on top of all his other papers. Darn book took 20 minutes to find.

"Are you just going to stare at it?" she asked after a few moments of watching him not move a muscle. He sighed and picked it up.

"No I will actually write in it now," he said opening up the notebook and flipping to his most recent page.

"What are you researching?" she asked as she watched him write. He looked up at her curious gaze.

"Do you _really_ want to know?" he asked warily. She thought about it for a second. He was stunned that she was actually considering his question. Most people just answer without really giving it a second thought. Then again…Natasha Romanoff was definitely not most people. He sometimes forgot the people around him were not exactly the average Joe anymore.

"Yeah…yeah I actually do," she said slowly. He gave her an honestly surprised look.

"Um…okay. I'm researching the radioactive mutation of a specific gene that causes empathetic abilities…" he said hesitantly. She made and 'O' shape with her mouth.

"Really? I thought you were researching about alternate personality separation…" she said a little guiltily. He didn't really mind - especially not when she really wasn't trying to be patronizing. He could feel her honesty radiating off her thin frame and the cogs in her head turning while she was probably rewriting all the things she ever thought he did in his lab. Well…he was glad he could still shock her.

"Is _that_ the rumor on the street nowadays?" he asked with a weak smile. She froze. He noticed her heart rate spike immediately. That was never a good sign.

"No, not quite…" she said hesitantly. He paused in his writing and looked up at her hesitant eyes.

"What are people saying Natasha?" he asked curiously.

"Does it matter?" she asked looking away. He gave her a measured look.

"Did the rumors about us matter?" he shot back. She tensed. He got her there. She took a deep breath.

"Most…most people think you're trying to kill yourself," she said with a wince. He paused as he took in that bit of information. He didn't know quite exactly how to tell her – so he went with the honest truth.

"Most people would have been right…" he whispered. She whipped her head around and stared at him in shock. He stared back at her stunned eyes with cautious ones of his own. "…a couple of months before the Loki incident. I was very unstable. Not quite anymore…" he said looking away from her sharp searching gaze.

"When was the last time you tried Bruce…?" she asked slowly with the tension clear in her voice. He stared at his pencil and twirled it in his hand.

"5 weeks ago?" he said tentatively. Has it really been five weeks since he last thought about trying to end his life?

"Damn it Bruce! Does anyone else know?" she asked in disbelief. She can't believe he's had an episode so close to the present. This was _insane_!

"Tony knows…" he said quietly. She slammed her fist against the table.

"Tony's not good enough," she growled. He gave her a sad look. Her anger on his behalf was beyond flattering. No one other than Tony has ever cared this much about his well being. And let's just say Tony is sometimes like an obsessively overprotective brother when it comes to Bruce.

"It's the best I've got. The last time I went to the doctor... It didn't end well…" he said carefully. She froze.

"For you or the Doctor?" she asked quietly. He winced.

"The Doctor," he said reluctantly. She in took a sudden breath. Bruce noticed the change and quickly realized what she thought.

"What? No! No! The doctor is fine! I just really trashed her office!" Bruce said quickly defusing the misunderstanding he saw in her eyes.

"Oh…did the other guy not like the wall color or something?" she said dryly. Bruce blinked. She was getting way to good at bouncing back from tense or awkward situations.

"Not exactly…he didn't like her probing questions…frankly he didn't like _her_," he said cautiously. He felt her instantly freeze up when he said that word '_her'_. That was a little odd…

"How do you know it's him and not you…?" she asked without looking at him. He gave her a wary look.

"How do you know the difference between the ghosts that haunt your mind and your own thoughts?" he shot back. She tensed.

"Sometimes I can't tell the difference between the two," she said distantly. He sighed.

"Sometimes I can't either. But I've gotten better at figuring it out," he said quietly. Natasha shook her head and simply stared at the table in front of her. 5 weeks…he hasn't had an episode for 5 weeks. They've been friends for about 4.

"How often have you tried?" she asked slowly. He winced.

"I lost count," he said quietly while placing his pencil down on his desk. He wasn't going to be able to think anymore. Not with where this conversation was going.

"Did anyone ever try to stop you?" she asked with an odd expression on her face. He slowly shook his head. He didn't know why he was telling her the truth. No one ever reacted well to the truth. They never understood how he could feel like that. How he knew it was wrong and sometimes couldn't do anything about it. No one can _really_ understand unless they've felt it too.

"Not before the last 6 months," he said staring at the wall behind her. Natasha took a deep breath. No matter how much Tony Stark pissed her off…she was slowly starting to build begrudging respect for him as a person. It was a horrible feeling.

"You know Bruce…if you didn't have the other guy…you would've succeeded a long time ago," she said quietly. He nodded gravely.

"I know," he whispered.

"The rest of us aren't so lucky…" she said staring at him with an intense gaze. His eyes shot up as he felt the darkness creep into her mind. Natasha has the capability to build a very terrifying place for herself if she ever succumbed to the despair and anguish she has inside of her. Now he was forced to wonder how many times she had.

"W-what?" he asked the apprehension clear in his voice. Her gaze didn't waiver for a second.

"Did you ever wonder why Clint has a really messy bullet wound in his left arm?" she asked steadily. Bruce thought back to their resident archer. He did recall noticing some unexplained scars he was never in the right position to ask about.

"What are you trying to say Natasha…?" he asked carefully. He didn't want to read the answer in her eyes. For once he wanted to hear it from her words.

"It's because he made me miss," she whispered. Bruce's heart nearly stopped beating. _Oh god no._ She didn't want to talk anymore – but she continued anyway.

"We don't have super soldier serum or superhuman genes Bruce. Normal people _die_ when they pull the trigger," she said shutting her eyes tightly. She's never told anyone this story before. But at the same time no one has ever needed to hear it.

"Do you regret missing?" he asked barely above a whisper.

"Do you regret failing?" she asked back.

They both stared at each other with the answer lurking in their eyes.

They needed a reason why not.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

**A/N: Intense…O.O Review and let me know what you think :) Are you starting to see the similarities between the two of them?  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**A/N: Happy early new year! **

The day after their intense conversation in Bruce's lab the two Avengers were quietly sitting on the edge of the roof of Avengers Tower watching the sunset along the New York skyline. It was something Bruce hadn't seen in a long time. It wasn't something he would do on his own.

"Is this where you disappear to when you have a fight with Clint or Tony pisses you off?" Bruce asked glancing around. She shrugged and curled a strand of her hair around her ear.

"Sometimes…" she said vaguely. He paused as he felt the distinct embarrassment she felt yesterday when he was bugging her about not having many girly- his eyes twinkled.

Natasha froze. His eyes were _not_ supposed to twinkle.

"You go to the shooting range more often don't you?" he asked with a slight twitch of his mouth. She groaned and banged her head against her knees.

"Will you never let that conversation go?" she asked in defeated. He grinned.

"No – it's too much fun to bother Natasha Romanoff – the dark and deadly spy that has hundreds of SHIELD men falling to their knees being reduced to a girl with too many manly skills," he said with the damn twinkle.

"I regret starting to see your mischievous side," she muttered beside him. He chuckled and gave her a warm look.

"Not many people take the time to," he said softly. Natasha paused as a weird feeling started to creep up on her. It was too damn _soft_. She didn't want to analyze it and quickly shoved it away. Bruce noticed her internal battle with some unknown emotion and waited for her to continue the conversation. Natasha stared at her knees for a moment before she glanced up at him with a determined look in her eyes.

"Have you ever seen a black lily?" she asked suddenly. He furrowed his brow at the sudden change in conversation.

"No…but I've heard of them. Don't they symbolize death or something?" he asked in confusion. She nodded and leaned her head against her knees.

"But just because it symbolizes something as multifaceted as death doesn't mean it only has negative connotations," she said looking up at the cloudy sky as it started to clear above them.

"Suicide is death," he pointed out warily. She shot him a warning look.

"Suicide is a _manipulation_ of death. That's not the type of death I'm talking about," she said quietly. He sighed.

"I don't understand Natasha," he said reluctantly. What was she trying to say?

"You know how generally everyone wants to stay young forever?" she said still avoiding his question. He nodded slowly.

"Yes – no one wants to grow old and wrinkly…" he said slowly. It was common sense. She glanced at him and smiled weakly.

"I do," she whispered. Now she had lost him.

"Why?" he asked staring at her cautious eyes.

"Because having the opportunity to grow older, live your life to the fullest and die peacefully is a privilege many people don't get…especially not the agents who work in our field," she said softly. He paused as the realization of what she has been trying to tell him this whole time finally hit him. He nearly stopped breathing as the statement slowly sunk in. He can't believe he didn't see it.

"You're right Natasha. Growing older _is_ a privilege," he whispered with a faraway look in his eyes. She caught the double meaning in his voice and gave him a curious look before it faded and was replaced with quiet understanding. Bit by bit Natasha Romanoff was peeling back the many layers that hid the real Bruce Banner. The man behind the hulk. The man no one bothered to get to know anymore because he had hid himself so well sometimes even he didn't know where the young scientist who got caught in an unexpected explosion disappeared to.

"When did you stop aging Bruce?" she asked as the stars started becoming visible in the night sky. He froze as she continued to watch the scene above them reveal all the secrets that were hidden in the far corners of the visible universe. Maybe one day they would see a full starry sky in New York City.

"10 years ago," he said shutting his eyes tightly. She figured it out too fast. He looked mid-thirties for a long time.

She nodded and didn't probe any further. He was grateful.

"You know …it's a dark flower – but it's still beautiful. Someone…someone once told there can be beauty in darkness...and that brilliant things can come from painful experiences," she said quietly. He smiled softly. She was trying to reach out to him – even though her words couldn't quite connect her feelings were broadcasting loud and clear. He was making her nervous. He had the strange feeling that for once it wasn't because of the other guy.

"I think he is a very wise someone," he said without looking at her. She tensed – he was too perceptive for his own good.

"Yeah a wise-ass that likes to annoy the shit out of me," she muttered grumpily. He felt the friendly affection mixed in with her honest annoyance.

"Isn't that what best friends are supposed to do?" he asked giving her a slight smile. She froze. Oh hell no.

"Don't you _dare_ compare my best friend to yours," she said dangerously. Bruce nearly burst out laughing at the horror mixed with intense disgust she was feeling.

"Life is full of all sorts of ironies Natasha," he said with a chuckle. She narrowed her eyes.

"Yeah? It has absolutes too – I will never, never, never hang out with Tony Stark by my own choice," she promised darkly.

**Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha **

The next day.

Natasha painfully stood in front of a wary looking Tony Stark. _Damn you karma. _

"Give this to Bruce in 3 days okay?" she said holding a piece of paper in her hand while she determinedly looked away. If she stared at his face too long…she might shoot it. Then who would give Banner her note?

Tony slowly took the paper from her outstretched hand.

"What is it?" he asked curiously. She glared at him.

"None of your god damn business," she hissed. Tony raised an eyebrow as he watched her twitch. Oh this was interesting.

"It's killing you to keep standing here and being civil isn't it?" he said dryly.

"You have no idea," she said dangerously. Tony gave the weird darkness hovering around her a cautious look.

"I'll be off to put this in a safe place now…" he said as he inched away from the volatile Russian. For once he wasn't going to piss her off.

Later that afternoon while Natasha was supposedly about to go on a top secret solo mission Bruce was quietly making his way down a SHIELD hall. He was still being employed as a scientist for SHIELD and so he was here more often than he would like. Bruce was lost in his own thoughts as he rounded the corner and accidentally crashed into the soft frame of another agent at SHIELD.

_Oomph_!

He looked up at the familiar brown eyes that reminded him of someone he was starting to get a little bit too attached to. Except when he took a closer look he was stared at the distinct figure of a man. _What the heck_?

"Oh my god - I'm so sorry!" he said as he quickly got off the poor man and helped him to his feet.

"It's okay Bruce. You were always a little absentminded when roaming the halls," the man said rubbing his head. Bruce paused in his apologies.

Wait a minute...

"Um does everyone think that around SHIELD...?" Bruce asked slowly. The man paused.

"What? No - I just noticed you did that after crashing into me several times last week," the man said in confusion. Bruce froze - he didn't remember that.

"Um...when was that exactly?" he asked nervously. The unknown redhead gave him a weird look.

"Are you feeling okay Bruce? You don't look so well..." the man said holding the back of his hand to his forehead to check his temperature. That was when Bruce felt the frightening sparks. _No..._

Bruce froze as he felt his face start to heat up. Was that his heart racing or a blender going off somewhere in the distance?

"Bruce...why are you turning into a tomato?" Clint asked from behind him. Bruce spun around and stared at the archer who had an odd knowing look on his face. Bruce stared at him for five seconds - nothing. He looked back at the redheaded man standing in front of him giving him a worried look.

Sparks went off in his chest - _holy shit. _

"Oh my god. I am _not_ gay. I am sooo not gay. Oh my god!" Bruce exclaimed in horror before he quickly backed away from the two men standing in front of him and hightailed it out of there.

Natasha gave Clint a bewildered look.

"I never said I thought he was gay..." she said in confusion.

Clint gave her crossdressing for her mission a once over. She even looked hot as a man. No wonder Bruce couldn't hold it together.

"I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own Tasha," he said patting her on the head and walking away. Clueless Russians he thought as he shook his head. Utterly clueless.

**Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha**

Natasha and Bruce were standing next to each other with matching bewildered looks on their faces. Bruce still didn't know the truth about the gay incident. Whether he knew it was her or not didn't matter – he would still die from the embarrassment. However at the moment they had a serious problem - of epic proportions.

"You're crazy! I don't see anything wrong with the little guy!" Bruce said staring down at the little dinky robot that had followed them upstairs from his and Tony's lab. She gaped at him.

"Move over Banner. Your old eyes are making you blind!" she huffed as she pushed him out of the way and crouched down to take a look at the robot herself.

"Hey! I have perfect vision!" he said defensively before he instantly regretted it.

She blinked.

"Why do you wear glasses then?" she asked in confusion.

"Ah..." he said so eloquently. She raised an eyebrow as she waited for an explanation.

"It just makes you look smarter okay?" he said in defeat as he finally caved. She snorted.

"I knew you enjoyed being a nerd Bruce," she said shaking her head at the depressed scientist.

"Most 40 something year old scientists wear glasses..." he muttered childishly. Natasha gave him a wary look.

"Sometimes you act like you're one hundred something...and other times you act like you are on the same level as Tony Stark," she said blankly. Bruce looked highly insulted.

_Cough_. A little spurt of oil flew through the air and splashed Bruce right in the eye.

"Ouch! Oh my god!" Bruce shouted as he covered his abused eye. Natasha quickly grabbed a tissue paper and a bottle of water from the table beside them.

"Hold still Banner!" she said angrily as she tried to get the oil out of his eyes.

"That is very easy to say but difficult to do," he muttered as she skillfully rinsed out the oil.

"Honestly - the weirdest things always happen when you are around," she said shaking her head in disbelief. Bruce looked up at her with one eye still shut and gave her crooked smile.

"At least it keeps things interesting right?" he said as she stared into his eyes to see if there was any oil left.

"Sometimes I _yearn _for a boring day Bruce," she said with a heavy sigh.

"Liar," he whispered. She flushed.

"It's true!" she huffed. He grinned.

"No it's not," he said confidently. She huffed and gave up.

"Open your other eye Bruce - let's see how it's doing after that accident," she mumbled in defeat as she sat in front of him literally centimeters from his face.

They both noticed their proximity at the exact same moment and went bright red simultaneously.

"Hey Tasha! Do you know wh-" Clint froze as he walked into the room and watched two frazzled avengers instantly fly apart from each other. Oh _now _he was curious.

"Did I just interrupt something?" he asked suggestively.

"NO!" they both shouted instantly turning an even darker shade of red. Clint raised an eyebrow at the two suspicious avengers.

"Are you sure? I can go..." he said slowly inching back out the door. Natasha narrowed her eyes. He was making this a hundred times worse than it was.

"Stop making this sound like something it's not Barton!" she said darkly. Clint grinned.

"So you weren't just about to share a clandestine kiss with our resident genius who is sometimes a little green around the edges right?" he said before he dashed out the door. His work here was done. If Natasha and Bruce's faces could get any redder...

"CLINT BARTON YOU ARE A DEAD MAN!" Natasha screamed as she ran after the laughing archer as he fled for his life.

And so the doctor was left with silence - and a robot.

"Tony set you up to this didn't he?" Bruce said looking back down at the little robot that was no longer squeaking pitifully. If robots could look sheepish...

**Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha Brutasha **

Bruce groaned as he woke up late that afternoon of the last day of the year after a much needed nap. He had stayed up all night yesterday working with Tony on one of his major projects that was due soon. He yawned as he looked around for his glasses on his side table and froze when he found a neatly folded letter sitting underneath them.

_Hi Bruce,_

_This is super cheesy – I know it's cheesy because when the Cap says it's cheesy I know I have crossed the line. But whatever. I thought you would find it fun if I wrote you a letter because I know you once said no one sends letters anymore. So here it is. I'm going to guess and say that you haven't seen New York fireworks on New Year's Eve in a long time – if ever. I don't know if you even like fireworks…frankly I don't know if I like fireworks myself…I'm rambling. This is why I don't do letters. So getting to the point of this painful piece of pathetic writing. Do you want to watch them with me from the roof tonight? I thought it'd be a nice place to watch fireworks from. No crowds. I don't like crowds either. _

_- Natasha _

Bruce sat frozen to the spot on his bed he was kneeling on as he read and reread the short letter over and over again.

Someone wrote him a letter.

_Natasha_ wrote him a letter.

She wanted to spend New Year's Eve with him…just him.

He slowly fell over onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling still in shock.

_20 minutes later. _

"Bruce why on earth have you been napping for so-" Tony froze as he stared at the unusual scene in front of him. He walked up to his dazed best friend and slowly took the piece of paper out of his hand. He never did read Red's secret note.

He stared at it. It was _shit_.

He glanced down at his nearly comatose best friend.

"It's _far_ too easy to please you Bruce Banner. You simple, simple man," Tony said shaking his head like Bruce had a disease or something.

"Hmm?" Bruce said still staring at the ceiling. _She wrote him a darn letter._

Later that evening.

Bruce was sitting by himself on the roof as he waited for Natasha to finally her make way up here and join him. Funny she never told him exactly when to come up here. How the hell did she know when he was coming? Crazy spies.

He paused as he suddenly felt waves of nervousness brush against his consciousness. For once he wasn't the one being nervous.

Suddenly a metal chain entering his line of vision and hanged in front of him. He glanced up at the awkward looking Russian spy holding onto the silver chain and looking anywhere but at him. It was sort of cute – her embarrassment was like a fluffy cloud brushing against him. If he told her that her emotions were anything close to being soft she would literally murder him – or at least try to.

"What's that?" he asked curiously without mentioning that fact that he could sort of tell what it was for based on how she was feeling about it.

"It's your New Year's Eve gift…" she mumbled. He raised an eyebrow.

"I can honestly say I have never received a New Year's Eve gift before…" he said warily. What he didn't say was that he hasn't gotten _any_ gifts for any occasion in a long time. Other than all the things Tony has given him and done for him. He practically adopted Bruce into his little family. Tony was like the brother he never had…but did best friends really count? She snorted.

"Just look at it," she urged gently. He raised his hand and carefully turned the front of the tag towards him. It was a personalized military identification tag – with his name on it. It was so – _practical_.

It was so Natasha.

"Look at the other side," she said quietly handing him the entire chain. He turned it over and stared at the dark red nearly black lily embed in the metal. He smiled gently.

"Thank you Natasha," he said softly. It didn't matter if this was the first gift he was given in years. It was still the best gift he ever got in his life. The deep blush on her cheeks was an added bonus.

"Now you're not allowed to forget who you are and the only type of death you're allowed to have," she said firmly. Bruce blinked. Oh dear god she was talking about their conversation from the other day.

"Natasha you just ruined the moment," Bruce said dryly. Now the blush had taken over her face.

"I did not! I just explained the gift to you!" she said heatedly. He sighed and pulled the chain over his head and let it hang on his chest in front of him. It felt like it belonged there.

"You are also being morbid a minute before the New Year," he said shaking his head at her. She gaped at him – literally gaped at him. He lightly fiddled with the chain – it was a nice piece of someone else to carry around.

"Well it's better than being morbid at the end of an old year then at the beginning of a new one," she muttered under her breath. He laughed.

'I'm pulling your leg you know that right?" he said smiling at her frustration. She froze.

"You bastard how could you!" she shouted smacking him against his shoulder. He grinned. The perks of being a superhuman – it didn't hurt to be slapped around by a girl as much as it was supposed to.

"I actually just lied about lying," he informed her a moment later. Natasha groaned and banged her head against the wall behind them. He laughed at her dramatics. He never knew it would be this much fun bugging Natasha Romanoff. No wonder Tony took so much glee in pissing her off. But Bruce liked their calmer conversations too.

They stared down at all the couples standing along the busy streets of New York waiting for the New Year to commence. They were all standing fairly close to one another. Bruce froze as he just realized the New Year countdown tradition he never had to worry about – because he hasn't spent the last couple of seconds of each year in the presence of a girl since he was in university. And that was a _long_ time ago.

Bruce suddenly went bright red at the countdown started. Natasha smiled warily without looking at him. She gently took his hand in hers and gave in a light squeeze.

"Friends can do a countdown too right?" she said softly. He sighed in relief and thankfully felt the blush in his face fade. She was too perceptive sometimes. He lightly squeezed back.

"Yeah – yeah friends can do it too," he said with an odd look on his face. Why was he slightly disappointed in that thought?

"5,"she said giving him a sidelong look.

"4," he said matching her calm look with a nervous one of his own.

"3,"she said as a slight smile threatened to appear on her face.

"2," he said as the crowds across the city all held their breath for the final moment of the year.

"1," she whispered before the entire sky exploded in a million colors.

"Happy new year Natasha," he said as he watched the bright fireworks in awe. Nobody ever forced him to come out and watch them before. He hasn't seems the brilliant light show in years.

"Happy new year Bruce," she said with a small smile in her voice. He froze as a pair of soft lips ghosted against his cheek.

He quickly glanced to his left.

She was gone.

**A/N: I hope you thoroughly enjoyed that. Let me know if would like some more fluff or action next. Haha. Happy early new year. **


	13. Chapter 13

**One day you have to stop running from the world. **

**A/N: Ah…yeah I was going to make it action…but then I realized we needed to quickly resolve a couple of things before that. Action will come soon! **

**Chapter 13 **

Bruce was walking through the Tower in a daze. He was still replaying Natasha's kiss from last night in his head.

"Someone looks happy…" Tony said cheekily as he watched Bruce walk into the Avengers common room. Bruce shook himself out of his daze and scowled at his friend.

"Don't say it Tony…" Bruce said warningly. The mischievously glint in Tony's eyes exploded.

"She kissed you didn't she?" Tony said in shock. Bruce went bright red. "She did! She did! How long was it?" Tony said excitedly. Bruce's blushed deepened to unimaginable proportions.

"Ah…" he said hesitantly. Tony paused.

"Wait so you didn't make out?" Tony asked blankly. Bruce couldn't respond even if he wanted to. "Was it even on the lips?" Tony asked grasping for straws. Bruce's red face said no lies. "She kissed you on the cheek didn't she?" Tony finally said in a doomed voice.

"Yeah…" Bruce said looking away. Tony sighed and shook his head. They were pathetic.

'Bruce…you have horrible reactions to girls," Tony said frankly. Bruce's blush was not going away anytime soon. He glared at Tony.

"What did she do after that?" Tony asked with a sigh. Bruce paused. He was so shocked he didn't even realize something...

"Oh my god she totally ditched me," he said in realization. Someone was late. Tony patted the frozen doctor on the back.

"A kiss on the cheek and she ditched you – bravo Banner. Bravo," Tony said dryly.

"That was a fail in normal relationships right?" Bruce said staring at his hands.

"Yup," Tony said without missing a beat.

"How about in Natasha language?" he asked quietly. Tony smiled – now Bruce was thinking.

"That's like a home run," Tony said before he messed up Bruce's already chaotic hair.

"HEY!" Bruce shouted as his hands shot up to fix his hair.

"Now you _really_ look like a mad scientist in love!" Tony cackled before he ran away.

The death glare on Bruce's face rivaled that of Natasha Romanoff's. And that was scary thought.

Meanwhile in another part of Avengers Tower.

Clint walked into the shooting range and found Natasha staring at her gun with a weird look on her face. Natasha _never_ stopped to think during training. She suddenly looked up and locked eyes with him. He raised an eyebrow as he noticed a light pink creeping up her neck. A look of understanding crossed his face. Oh this was going to be fun. Natasha narrowed her eyes.

Clint suggestively stared at Natasha.

Natasha death stared at Clint.

The weird dark vibes coming off of her were telling him he was trending in dark waters.

"Say it and you die," she growled. Clint's eye twitched. He was thinking about. He was still thinking about it. He was going to keep thinking about it until he said it.

"NATASHA AND BRUCE SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" he shouted before he dived out the door.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY IT YOU BASTARD!" Natasha screamed as she ran after the fleeing archer. It was so worth it he thought as he ran for his life.

_A few hours later. _

Tony and Bruce were walking through SHIELD after a very uncomfortable meeting with Fury - he still hasn't forgiven them for hijacking his organization.

Something was bugging Bruce. It was bugging him a lot.

"Tony...how do you know if you're gay?" Bruce asked suddenly. Tony paused - that was not a question he thought he would ever have to answer. Especially coming from _Bruce Banner._ The ultimate antisocial being on earth. He didn't even _try_ to meet new people. The only girl he was even remotely interested in _was on their freaking team.  
_  
"Gay? When did _this _phase start? Man I thought you were asexual before Red came along..." Tony said incredulously. Bruce laughed nervously.

"Um...I never thought I was...but there was this one agent..." Bruce started to say but the embarrassment made him choke on his words.

"What's his name...?" Tony said narrowing his eyes. He would have to do a serious background check on this new potential love interest. He would never admit it to anyone in a million years - but Red was the only person (man or woman) who Tony even remotely approves of having Bruce Banner's love. And even then it was begrudgingly because the connection between them was palpable.

Who the hell could have caught Bruce Banner's attention when he had someone like Red?

"I don't know...I sort of bolted before I could ask..." he said warily. Tony rolled his eyes.

"Of course you would Bruce," he said shaking his head. Bruce scowled and was about to respond when he suddenly stopped in his tracks. Tony slowed down and gave his best friend a confused look. He turned to see what he was staring at - more importantly _who _he was staring at. Bruce suddenly started hyperventilating.

"NOT AGAIN!" Bruce shouted in horror before he promptly dropped his notes and ran down the hall.

"Who are you running fro-?" Tony froze as he noticed a redheaded man talking with Clint down the hall. Was this the man Bruce was unwillingly crushing on? He took a closer look.

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" he fell to the ground laughing hysterically. Clint and Natasha gave the insane man a weird look.

"What just happened...?" Natasha asked slowly. Clint looked over her shoulder and noticed the doctor skirt around the corner at the end of the hall and burst out laughing himself. Now both Avengers were leaning against the wall dying from laughter. Natasha looked very confusion.

"Why am I surrounded by insanity?" she asked staring up at the ceiling.

Tony wiped the tears from his eyes and crawled after the very emotionally confused doctor. He rounded the corner and shook his head at the man about to run out the door. He promptly grabbed Bruce by the back of his shirt and pulled him back inside.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO!" Bruce said desperately. Tony sighed. Idiot.

"Bruce. Calm down. That man is not a man," Tony said holding onto his best friend's collar and not letting him escape. This was too much - he thinks he might die the next time Bruce looked like a tomato because of his confused feelings for their resident cross-dresser.

"Oh my god...he's from another world like Thor?" Bruce said in horror. Tony paused...he really shouldn't...but...

"Yes. yes agent Romano is an alien from a world not too far away from Asgard," Tony said gravely. Bruce paled.

"But...but..." he stuttered. Tony patted him on the back.

"I heard he likes mysterious men with dark pasts and quirky habits," Tony continued to fuel Bruce's horror. The man was too much.

"But I don't want to be gay with _any _species!" Bruce cried desperately.

"Then you know what you have to do right?" he said seriously. Bruce froze.

"What?" he asked nervously. The evil glint in Tony's eyes was too much.

"You should go kiss him and get it out if your system," Tony said like it was obvious. He would pay _good _money to see the look on Red's face if Bruce did that.

Bruce promptly collapsed against the wall beside him in shock. He would never be the same again.

"Tony Stark what the _hell _are you doing to Bruce?" a familiar deep voice said from behind them.

Bruce paled and turned ghostly white.

Tony looked like he was about to piss himself from holding in the laughter.

"Bruce...you look sick again are you okay?" the voice said worriedly. Bruce banged his head against the wall and refused to turn around. When a hand touched his shoulder he nearly died.

_Oh my god he was touching him!_

_"_Bruce...?" the voice said anxiously.

"Try talking to him in your normal voice without the voice alteration," Tony said in an amused tone.

"Why? What's the difference?" the voice said as it suddenly sounded _very_ different. Bruce stopped trembling.

"Bruce if you don't tell me what's wrong I will _drag_ your ass down to medical whether you hulk out or not," Natasha Romanoff's voice hissed from behind him. It was music to his ears...but what the heck is going on?

He slowly turned around and stared at what clearly appeared to be a man.

"What's it going to be?" she asked narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms. Bruce's brain just short-circuited.

Huh?

Bruce froze.

"Natasha...?" he said in shock. The redhead gave him a wary look.

"Why are you looking at me like that Bruce?" she asked slowly. He had the biggest relieved expression on his face and hope shining in his eyes. So he wasn't gay after all! However the relief promptly disappeared when he realized who exactly was the object of his affections. _Oh my god. _

He promptly fainted.

Natasha stared at him in panic.

"What's wrong with him?" she asked glancing at Tony. He was going blue in the face. These men were driving her crazy.

"Don't worry - he just had the mother of all realizations," Tony said waving her concern away as he crouched down and threw one of Bruce's arms over his shoulder and dragged him to his feet.

"I'll take him home. Have fun on your mission Red," he said as he started dragging the poor confused scientist home. Natasha stared at the two idiots for several seconds before she slowly shook her head.

"This is the last time I'm dressing as a man. Not even for a mission," she muttered as she walked away. Weird things always seemed to happen when she was talking to agents at SHIELD. They all had similar reactions to Bruce. Ugh. _Men_.

**A/N: That was one way to force Bruce to see his feelings…now let the freaking out begin...while they're on a dangerous Avengers mission. Hehe. **


End file.
